Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.
It sounds like from your post that you have tried many medications but none have helped your depression. What kind of symptoms are you having? How long have you felt depressed? Are there things happening in your life to make you feel depressed? And are you still in therapy? Is it helping or did it help?
Ok I do agree with you, you sound like you have depression. You have had a lot of trauma in the past few years and this may have contributed to how you feel, along with the relationship with your mother and the lack of support. Plus, being a single parent brings with it a lot of stressors.
Since you suffered abuse for so many years during your marriage, you may need to work out your feelings about the abuse and the breakup. Abuse is highly traumatizing and can cause trauma symptoms, like trouble sleeping and depression. There is a book that may help you called Verbal Abuse Survivors Speak Out; On relationship and recovery by XXXXX XXXXX. You can get this through Amazon.com or your local library may have it. There are also some groups online and otherwise that can help. Here is a few links to the resources:
If therapy is not working for you, you need a new therapist. Finding a good therapist is like finding a good doctor, you need to search a bit to find someone who works well with you and who you feel is compatible. Try asking your doctor for a referral. Or, if you attend church or know of one nearby, ask the pastor for a referral. The pastor may also be able to provide counseling too. And your local community mental health center can help you as well. They often provide not only an evaluation and therapy, but can help you find other assistance as well.
You may also need a mild anti depressant, just to help motivate you enough to attend appointments and get out of the house more. Your sleep patterns are affected because you are at home and not out getting exercise and get in the sun. Your body needs both to understand when it's daylight and when it's time to slow down and sleep. You also might want to try supplements. Ask your doctor first if you can take these. Try taking Omega 3 fatty acids. They can lift your mood and help you feel better. Melotonin is a naturally occurring substance in your body and can be found in pill form at Walmart or GNC. It will help you sleep.
You also need support. If you can't work, try volunteering, if you have child care. Meet people and make new friends. If there is other family you can contact, do so. Your social support needs to be there so you have people to rely on and that can help you get through the tough times. You may also try joining a group for moms. It would give you lots of new potential friendships and you can find ways to engage your kids and get yourself a bit of a break.
All of this may seem overwhelming right now, but the fact that you are reaching out right now is a good sign that you are willing to help yourself get better and move on with your life. Take small steps. It will seem hard at first, but once you do one thing, it is easier to do another. Try medication and a therapist first, then move to expanding your social interactions. That way, the therapist can help you and support you.
I hope this has helped,Kate