Ask a Psychiatrist and Get Answers to Mental Health Questions ASAP
Hi, I'd like to help you with your problem.
I need to clarify what you are asking. Are you looking for answers on how to get over the relationship and how to deal with how you feel? Or are you asking something else?
The answer lies within your ex boyfriend. For some reason, he decided to end the relationship. He chose not to tell you which is one of the problems. He also is using the same expressions of love on his new girlfriend. That is suspicious.The fact that he cut off your relationship, moved on and now will not speak with you at all is very odd.
You are right. A relationship that ends in this way is hurtful and confusing. However, your ex's behavior says a lot. Enough so I suspect that he has some issues you were unaware of such as a mental health problem or some other emotional issue. If you cannot find anything you feel he was reacting to in your relationship with him, a mental health problem or emotional issue are the only things that could cause such a reaction.
Most relationships end with each person at least mostly understanding what happened to break them apart as a couple. Also, most relationships have a process of breaking down. Each person can respond to the break up either by getting help or responding another way.
It is ok for you to feel the way you do. It was a shock and it was unexpected. You may be in mourning over the relationship as well. Give yourself time. Gain support through trusted family and friends. Go out, pamper yourself. Your self esteem is low from this and you can get a boost by treating yourself well.
If you find that after a few months you still feel this way, see a counselor. Your doctor can refer you or if you attend church, your pastor can help. You probably only need short term therapy just to help you cope.
Here is a book that may help you. It's called Coming Apart: Why Relationships End and How to Live Through the Ending of Yours by Daphne Rose Kingma. Amazon.com has it available or your local library may have a copy.
I hope this has helped you,
People can be compatible no matter the age, though friends and family can sometimes point out age differences and cause conflict. But if the relationship works for the couple, then age isn't a factor and others' opinions can't affect the relationship to that extent.
It sounds like you did what you could to keep the relationship going. One mistake, such as you made, should not end a relationship. People make mistakes in relationships all the time. After the additional information you gave me, I still believe there was something going on with your boyfriend and not with you or the relationship itself. You can chose to go with that explanation or even based on the information you do have make a best guess on your own about what happened, but you will probably have to create your own closure on this relationship.
I would recommend you move on. If he is showing no signs of wanting contact and no interest in repairing your relationship, you are risking getting hurt again if you try contacting him. Focus on yourself and repairing your own self esteem. The more you can do this, the better off you are and the more the relationship will fade into the background. Sometimes you have to chalk it up to experience, let yourself mourn and move on.
You are very welcome! I enjoyed working with you. Take care of yourself and please know JA is here in case you need anything.