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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5458
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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My wife and I have been separated since Jan 1st, I have filed

Resolved Question:

My wife and I have been separated since Jan 1st, I have filed the divorce papers, I am suddenly feeling very lonely and distant from my wife. Can you give me some good advice on how I should behave around her?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.

 

I am sorry to hear about your divorce. No matter why or how divorces occur, they are always hard on the couple.

 

You may have a couple of issues going on here. One, you are feeling remorse about your decision to divorce and want to try again. Not knowing this issues that broke you up in the first place, I am taking a guess at this, but it is an option.

 

Two, you are feeling lonely and distant because of the loss of your marriage. You were a couple and now you are alone. It is normal to feel alone and sad after a loss such as your marriage. Any loss is going to cause feelings of mourning and possible short term depression. This is something to work through just like any loss. However, if you begin to feel like you cannot function normally in any activities and your feelings start to affect you ability to work or complete tasks, see a counselor. You may have issues to work through about the relationship and subsequent divorce.

 

Three, when around your wife, depending on the nature of the divorce (amicable or very hard), you can either keep your distance emotionally, doing only what you need to do to complete the contact, or you can be friendly but not intimate. Much like you would with a female friend. If you cross over the line into intimacy, then there are other issues involved. If that occurs, you will have to reevaluate your relationship to determine where you would like it to stand. Some married couples reunite and some date. It depends on your circumstances as to how this would work for you.

 

I hope this helps you,

Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5458
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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