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Ask Selah R, M.S. LPC Your Own Question
Selah R, M.S. LPC
Selah R, M.S. LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 582
Experience:  Licensed Professional Counselor; over 13+ yrs exp working with adults, teens, & families/couples.
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Hi Selah,Thanks for the help on the last question.I have another

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Hi Selah,Thanks for the help on the last question.I have another for you regarding sexual fantasies.Since I would like to try out bondage at some point in time any suggestions from you if I wanted to crossdress as a dominatrix,mistress and provide such services.Should I get coaching from another dominatrix or what would be the best way to break into the business as a legimate one?I would greatly appreciate the advice and/or support on.Thanks

Selah R, M.S. LPC :

Thank you for trusting JustAnswer with your important question.

Selah R, M.S. LPC :

I think finding a mentor is huge if you want to do that as a service or business. You need to familiarize yourself with:

Selah R, M.S. LPC :

1. Legal issues - for example, many states allow this business, but have strict rules on what type of contact can be made and usually with strong rules against sexual contact. It's up to you to know what these rules are, and then to make your own boundaries.

Selah R, M.S. LPC :

2. Marketing - how do you find clients? how do you keep yourself safe, especially when meeting new clients. How much should you charge, should you go to their house or a neutral place, or should you work out of a club?

Selah R, M.S. LPC :

3. Average services - What is typically offered? What is typically too dangerous for beginner offering fee for service? How do you know when to call a stop to BDSM behaviors even when the customer/subbie wants it to go further?

Selah R, M.S. LPC :

4. Set up - What materials are you going to need to purchase? Should you have your own toys or require that customers bring their own? How do you control hygiene issues to reduce risk to yourself and clients? How do you bill in ways that protect your client's credit card statements and bank statements from too much information? What type of business license do you need in your state, or is one not required?

Selah R, M.S. LPC :

You may also want to spend some time as a subbie to get more of an idea of what their experience is like. It can also be a good way for you to learn how Doms act/behave, and figure out which characteristics you want to have as a Dom and which ones you'd rather not have.

Selah R, M.S. LPC :

If you can't imagine yourself being a sub, then maybe you can find Doms who are willing to let you talk to their subs about their experiences, wishes, desires, limits/boundaries, motivations, needs, etc. The more you know about what subs want, the better you'll be as a Dom.

Selah R, M.S. LPC :

The more you're in the BDSM world the more you'll start being able to pick out who's just there once in awhile for sexual fantasy play, who is there because it's part of a serious lifestyle for them, and who is there because they want to be hurt or abused in an unhealthy way psychologically. That will help you start finding out what your own limits are, and what type of clients you want to work with. Some despise the "tourists" while others refuse to work with the "abuse-seekers."

Selah R, M.S. LPC :

Selah

JACUSTOMER-5orp0hdz- :

Thanks for the help.That is a great idea.I think then I can know what kind of specialities to get into and equipment,clothing to purchase at some point in time.Wish me luck with it.Thanks again.

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