Ask a Psychiatrist and Get Answers to Mental Health Questions ASAP
Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.
It sounds like you are doing all the right things when it comes to helping your grandchildren. Having them see a doctor is a good step as you always want to rule out any physical problems. It is unlikely that both children would have a physical problem that causes bedwetting, especially at the same time, but it never hurts to be sure.
I am assuming that the mother is not involved for some reason with her children's issues. Is she unable to care for the kids, or is she unwilling? This makes a difference because the burden then becomes yours and the concern here is the level of stress this can cause for you. Are there any other adults involved that can offer you support? You also may want to ask the children's doctor for advice as well. They will be familiar with this issue and possible causes.
Since you have tried so many options, and assuming you are able to rule out a physical cause, there could be possible trauma the children suffered at some time. Any type of abuse, exposure to seeing traumatic events (such as violent parental arguments) or other trauma can cause children to develop bedwetting and other symptoms like nightmares. Even simple things like parents going through a divorce might trigger a reaction.
In this case, counseling may be necessary to rule out any psychological cause. A therapist can do a thorough evaluation and determine if there is possible trauma.
There are also some resources that may help you. One is called Waking Up Dry: A Guide to Help Children Overcome Bedwetting by Howard J. Bennett. Another is Seven Steps to Nighttime Dryness: A Practical Guide for Parents of Children with Bedwetting by Renee Mercer. Another product is a bedwetting alarm that you can use if all other options are ruled out. It's called Malem Ultimate Bedwetting Alarm - Blue 1 Tone w/Vibration by Malem. You can find these resources on Amazon.com or your local library may have the books available.
I hope this has helped you,
That sounds like quite a stressful situation, for you and the kids. I think following through the the Family Court sounds like a good idea.
It could be that all the parental issues have affected the kids more than they let on. They could be reacting to all that is going on around them. Their mother is not present most of the time and it doesn't sound as if Dad is either. This definitely puts a lot of instability in the children's lives.
Once things settle down a bit, you may want to consider some short term therapy for yourself just to give you some support and a place to vent. Or at least talk with a pastor, if you attend church. Sometimes colleges or university's also offer free or low cost therapy with their graduate psychology students.
See if you can also have another relative or friend help you out so you can take a short break. Pamper yourself or even just visit a book store and browse. It can help you lessen your stress and give you more energy to tackle the problems with Austin and Cecilia.
Hang in there. You are doing some wonderful things for the kids and soon, this issue will get worked out.