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Dr. K
Dr. K, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 358
Experience:  15 years clinical experience in all areas of psychiatry. Holistic and practical approach.
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2nd marriage of 20 yrs. my husband had 3 previous children

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2nd marriage of 20 yrs. my husband had 3 previous children and we have 1 together who is now 18. the family has always treated our son as an outsider and he is aware he is only a greeting out of the necessity of the occasion. my sister in law has informed me that he will never be one of them because he is seconds. would you still expose your child to this treatment or cut the ties
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. K replied 6 years ago.

That's a little tricky question b/c there is no right or wrong answer...this is grey area. I do think your primary loyalty remains to your son; also, he is an adult so ask him his opinion on this.


You don't pick your family, and it is very tough when there is family conflict. I have told many patients that if their family is "toxic" and not supportive, that maybe they should keep distance or cut complete ties. Most people struggle with feeling guilty over this (I sense that with you); if you cut ties or even keep distance, your family may not understand and blame you...but that's there issue. If they can't accept your son, they have to accept the consequences of a psychologically immature & discriminating decision.


I'm sorry I'm not giving you an exact, concrete answer...I think you have to a) keep distance, or b) cut ties completely. If it's very hard to decide, you could consider seeing a live therapist to help you figure this out. Otherwise talk to your son and any other loved ones you trust for counsel. Good luck & take care.

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