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Mina, Clinical Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 188
Experience:  Working as a Highly Specialist Clinical Psychologist in NHS. Experience in both children and adults
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I am hoping to find someone who can help me with a problem.

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I am hoping to find someone who can help me with a problem. Unfortunately I self-harm during the worst fights I have with my husband. I grew up in a violent household and always feel the urge but usually only take it out on myself and feel great while I'm doing it, then relieved, then tired and shaky. We have been going through some hard times, probably the same problems as most married couples but don't seem to help each other. We have three small children to whom I am devoted. I would love to find someone who can help me on a regular basis. I would like to reach out before it gets worse. My life already seems too much like a bad movie.

I am very sorry to hear about this difficult situation you are living in. You must be experiencing intense emotional pain in order to self harm. In my opinion, this should be your priority at the moment because this shows the way you deal with things. The situation may be an emotionally or physically abusive husband but the way you react is by internalizing this pain and punishing yourself instead of coping with this in different ways. I believe that you need professional help to help you understand behind your self harming behavior. You also seem to feel trapped as you are saying that divorce is not an option for you. This thinking can also contribute to your self harming as this may appear as the only "way out" of your troubled thoughts.

I understand that you have probably started realizing that the way you are coping is not a healthy way and this is very good that you are seeking help. You would really benefit from seeing a therapist/Psychologist who specializes in self harming as you need to be able to understand what lies behind it and how to overcome this. You need all the support you can get as I assume that you do not get enough support from family. It is a difficult path that you need to take, fighting on your own but by establishing a trusted relationship with a therapist you would feel the support that you need to heal yourself and make all the future difficult decisions. I would encourage you to look on line to find a local to you therapist and start the therapy work. You owe this to yourself and your kids.

Please feel free to share any feedback on these thoughts

All the best to you

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