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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5469
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Hi! I was wondering if I should seek counselling. I have lost

Resolved Question:

Hi! I was wondering if I should seek counselling. I have lost interest in life as far as family, friends, hobbies, etc. I feel like I am the last resort for my friends if nobody else is available to do something with they call me. I have been so tied down with being a caregiver to my elderly parents, my other siblings are involved with their kids and grandkids, I have none so therefore I am most available. I am so drained and depressed I don't know what to do. My best friend is my husband of course and he is probably getting tired of me too. I don't have a job because people take advantage of me and I either quit or they fire me. I am so fed up with people that I just remain a loner so to speak. How do I get my life together as I feel their is no hope for me. I am a born again believer but I feel like even God doesn't love me. Any answers??
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.

 

As I was reading your post, it occurred to me that in your life you do a lot for others, but not much for yourself. I was also stuck by the fact that you seem to view yourself as lower than others and therefore worthy of less. I believe that this may be the root of why you feel the way you do.

 

First, being the caregiver of your parents is enormously stressful. That is known to cause people to feel overwhelmed and depressed. Given that your siblings are not helping you (I would assume in any capacity), then I would be surprised if you were not feeling depressed.

 

Also, the fact that you are aware that your friends contact you last, when all other options are exhausted for companionship is not a good thing. Since I do not know the reason for this, I am going to assume that they treat you badly because either they are just that way as people, or that you allow the behavior. Either way, your acceptance of the behavior should change if you want to feel any better.

 

One important step you need to take is seeking out a counselor. At this point, it would be a very good start and a way to help you begin to restructure you life and your interactions with others.

 

Some of the things to work on with your therapist are gaining self esteem, putting limits on your relationships and the behavior you will accept and asserting yourself in situations like caring for your parents. At this point, no matter how busy your siblings are, they need to contribute at least some of the time to your parents' care.

 

There are also some books I recommend for you to get started. One is called Healing Your Emotional Self: A Powerful Program to Help You Raise Your Self-Esteem, Quiet Your Inner Critic, and Overcome Your Shame by Beverly Engel and another is The Courage to Be Yourself: A Woman's Guide to Emotional Strength and Self-Esteem by Sue Patton Thoele. These are both available on Amazon.com or your local library might have them available.

 

Keep in mind, you deserve just as much as anyone else. You mentioned being a Christian (I am one as well) and although God wants us to be kind to others there is no where in the Bible that says we have to accept being abused. You do not have to accept this either. God made you just as well as everyone else. Remember that as you journey to help yourself get better.

 

I hope this has helped you,

Kate

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Thanks Kate your answer has made me aware of somethings I didn't realize. I feel like a fool to have to get help at the age of 59. I thought by now I would have it all together. Do you feel that counseling would help at this stage of my life? I have had alot of counselling throughtout my life but I seem to fall back into the same patterns. I have read many books on self-esteem but I guess it boils down to the fact that I don't like myself. I have failed in so many areas of my life and usually get back up but for some reason I don't care to even try anymore. But I will take your advise and see what happens. Thanks!
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

Absolutely! Counseling is for anyone at any age. Many people at different stages in life encounter problems that they need to have help with. Counselors are trained in life stages as well, so they can better understand where people are in life and how problems affect a person at any given time.

 

I think you have very good insight into your issue. That will go a long way in helping you progress and do well with this problem. Lots of people struggle to understand why they feel the way they do and you have already conquered this problem. You would do very well in counseling.

 

Take care and let me know if you have any further questions.

 

Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5469
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Thanks again!
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.
You are very welcome!
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5469
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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