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Ask Selah R, M.S. LPC Your Own Question

Selah R, M.S. LPC
Selah R, M.S. LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 582
Experience:  Licensed Professional Counselor; over 13+ yrs exp working with adults, teens, & families/couples.
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this is hard for me to write, because i like my nurse practitioner

Customer Question

OK GUYS, I HAVE PAID FOR UNLIMITED QUESTIONS AND WE ARE GOING ON DAY THREE HERE, I AM REALLY BEGINNING TO BELIEVE THE NASTY REPORTS ABOUT THE JUST ANSWER SCAM JOB.  AND DO NOT EVEN THINK OF CHARGING ME AGAIN.  I AM PISSED. SO SO PISSED.this is hard for me to write, because i like my nurse practitioner, but i have suffered so much this year. i was on 120 mg of adderrall xr. fine, then i got some kind of dermatitis, and I was apparently misdiagnosed with "crusted" or norwegian scabies. because i am a professor, i, of course researched this to the hilt...and little did i know that the symptoms are oft confused with seb dermatitis which i what i really have. however, i suffered...i really suffered when i believed this dx. nights when i could not sleep, my dog and I sitting on my zen bed (slats only because i was so fearful i threw the mattress over my deck). I cleaned and cleaned and cleaned until i dropped from exhaustion. To this day, since i am off the xr and only on the short acting that I always said worked well for me but my doc would not give that kind to me, well, i am fine. But i am not, because i am seeing how utterly insane i was. i swore I saw them, and i did indeed have cellulitus at the time so it was very scary....i couldn't walk anywhere. I was in a state of hypervigilance all the time. it was the most horrifying experience of my life. i went through it alone. i did see an infectious disease specialist who told me i was crazy, crazy for what? believing my doctor and doing research? then i was sent to a dermatologist who promptly threw me out of his office and said i was delusional. i asked, over and over and over, "if not this, what is it???" i spent the summer losing my hair, suffering from rashes, and my own children have abandoned me because i was afraid to go anywhere. Now i am feeling normal...but with that comes great pain, and many tears, and the realization that i was probably a freakin nut case. I have a Ph.D in clinical psych. and I was a tenured prof for 16 years. But that does not help when one must make a decision when one is impaired. I am suffering from so much anger, anger at i dont know who, anger at the nurse who did not take even my suicide attempt seriously (i dont think i was crazy, just horribly bereft and impulsive and i did not ever use the valium they gave me (guess I should have) ...." i am so down. so alone. so misunderstood. so angry. and because of this dx of delusional psychosis (a temporary thing due to the adderall) i cannot get help really. this is a small community, word gets around. i am not getting help for severe sinusitus and other issues. i do have a derm who has confirmed the rash and hair breakage is due to seb. derm. but my god, how much do i have to go through until anyone takes me seriously again. i am so hurt. i feel labeled. i did not do this to myself. i listened to my doctors. i am angry. i lost my family. i never see my five grandchildren. sometimes the grief is unbearable. i dont know what to do.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Selah R, M.S. LPC replied 3 years ago.

Selah R, M.S. LPC :

Thank you for trusting JustAnswer with your important question.

Selah R, M.S. LPC :

I'm sorry for your delay in getting an answer, it is a very busy time of year. Please accept my apologies on behalf of JA.

Selah R, M.S. LPC :

It sounds like you have been through a very bad situation, that has caused you a lot of mental and physical anguish.

Selah R, M.S. LPC :

You have a few things you can do. The first is counseling to help you have a safe place to process all this bottled up stress and anger. If you don't trust anyone locally, online therapy may be an option worth pursuing. The other would be intensive journal/writing to help purge and process these toxic emotions.

Selah R, M.S. LPC :

The second thing you can do is figure out if your nurse practitoner was negligent, and if so do you want to pursue a complaint with the medical board. Or do you want to write her a letter to tell her your anguish and disappointment in being misdiagnosed and now labeled so poorly in the community.

Selah R, M.S. LPC :

You can provide your family with printed educational information on your condition, so they can see that your symptoms made sense, no matter how illogical it may have looked to them at the time. But more importantly you can start the process of apologizing to them for how it may have scared or hurt them, reassure them that you weren't trying to hurt them or make them worry, but that you were doing the best you could under the circumstances.

Selah R, M.S. LPC :

Chronic pain, anxiety, discomfort, lack of proper treatment, and feeling like you're fighting to get heard and understood by professionals that are supposed to be listening and helping you, can exponentially add to your stress levels. This probably made your symptoms worse, made you feel and seem even "crazier", and this is where self-forgiveness comes into the picture. Your body was in massive fight or flight mode, and then just burned out and unable to process correctly. No one functions well under that load, no matter what their education/profession.

Selah R, M.S. LPC :

Your current dermatologist can write you a letter explaining your condition, the apparent cause of it, and your prognosis now that your medication (the cause) has been removed. This type of letter can be something you provide to other doctors you are working with to help validate your story and help them trust you as an accurate historian when it comes to symptom reporting.

Selah R, M.S. LPC :

Only time will help repair the relationships and trust. The sooner you are able to replace the negative emotional override which could be altering your perception to make things appear bleaker than they really are (where we seen neutral things as negative, and question positive things as having negative intentions), the sooner you can begin to trust again.

Selah R, M.S. LPC :

But what you are feeling is normal in these situations. Many people struggle with the negative effects of misdiagnosis, neglect, mistakes, and poor treatment management. There is no easy way to just let go of those feelings, because they are real, because you were hurt at a very core level of who you are. This could also be triggering other times when you felt neglected, mistreated, overlooked, or abused. So look for those type of links too, because they slow recovery if they aren't addressed.

Selah R, M.S. LPC :

But find support, even if it's online through counseling or peer support/self-help groups. Have a place to work through the anger and grief. And if you still feel like you aren't taken seriously by professionals in your area, it may be time to find new doctors. I've seen clients who refused to let me get files from previous doctors because they distrusted them, or felt their notes would color my perception. I honor that and agree to start from a blank slate. I actually prefer that in most cases! So don't be afraid to start over, even if you have to go out of your way to find new doctors whom you trust.

Selah R, M.S. LPC :

Best wishes, and again I'm sorry you had to wait so long for an answer.

Selah R, M.S. LPC :

Selah

Customer :

thank you so much..worth the wait. good, succint list of things I can do. I particularly like your suggestions re: providing my family with printed material and also getting a letter from my dermatologist. So much has happened, my new kitten died the day before Thanksgiving and I felt so guilty I could not go anywhere. I think I have cried to the point of dehydration. I do not want to harm my nurse practitioner, she is a good good person and does not deserve retribution. I did file a complaint against the dermatologist who apparently had already made up his mind. My god, even if I was totally delusional, nobody does that on purpose. He hurt me to the core and when he was nasty to me I left in tears. I appreciate you answer. I know my question was amorphous and probably difficult to sort out, but wow, you did a great job and you helped me sort things out as well. Too many things happening at once. You have my deepest thanks and respect.

Selah R, M.S. LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 582
Experience: Licensed Professional Counselor; over 13+ yrs exp working with adults, teens, & families/couples.
Selah R, M.S. LPC and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
any ideas on where i can get printed info on the adverse effects of overdosage of adderal, in particular, how I can explain to my family that I was delusional, not because i am an awful person, or even crazy, but the drugs...wow, it is so hard to realize finally that what i thought was so real, and in part because i believed my doctors, that i was terrified, literally terrified ....i could not move, i could not sleep, i threw my mattress out of the window. my god if they only knew how horrible it was...i just couldnt go out to see them and i told them they should not come here for fear they would "catch" this disease. it is so hard to come to terms with the fact that my mind ( and it is a very fine mind indeed) was so compromised. it is horrific.
Expert:  Selah R, M.S. LPC replied 3 years ago.
Here is a great list of possible side effects of this medication:
http://www.drugs.com/sfx/adderall-side-effects.html

Our brains communicate through chemical transactions. Medications have the potential of either assisting those chemical transactions or making those transactions worse. In your case, it made those transactions much worse and unreliable. No amount of mental ability, intelligence, or even self awareness can stop those transactions from going haywire. And in the amount of stress you were under trying to cope with, make sense of what was going on, and stop your physical symptoms just further deteriorated your ability to make sense of those chemical transactions.

It's like your brain stopped talking to you in English and switched to a language you couldn't translate. But you kept trying to communicate anyway (we gesture, talk louder, try different words, just trying to get communication to flow again!). The harder you tried and the more frustrated you and your brain got with each other, the worse things got. It's like an agitated tourist and a frustrated native who can't seem to help each other understand what they need to communicate.

Be gentle with yourself. You were doing the best you could to take care of you and your family, especially if you were afraid what you have been contagious! What horror to not know what's happening to you but to be afraid you could inflict the same symptoms on someone else!!

Selah





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