Ask a Psychiatrist and Get Answers to Mental Health Questions ASAP
Hi, I'd like to help you with your problem.
I believe you have some very good insight into your symptoms. You described your symptoms beginning when you were raped which is helpful to understand. Your post also gave me a very good idea of where you are right now with your symptoms.
As you talked about your symptoms, there are a few different possible diagnosis es. One, you seem depressed. This is something you stated that you are already aware of. However, there are different types of depression and which one you have dictates the kind of treatment you need.
Also, there seems to be an anxiety reaction. You described having trouble going out and the need to stay within places you know well. Staying at home and avoiding socializing is also part of anxiety.
You also pointed out some issues with your body and your weight. Although I am guessing here, I would imagine that this also started with the rape or if you had it before, it was affected greatly by the rape.
I believe all of these symptoms are a reaction to the trauma of the rape. This is very common and very treatable. When you see a counselor, they will do an evaluation to determine what diagnosis you may have. You may want to ask them to first look at Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. With this disorder, a person who goes through a traumatic event has symptoms such as flashbacks, nightmares or dreams, avoiding activities you once enjoyed, memory problems, feeling emotionally numb. These are only some of the symptoms. You may or may not be experiencing these symptoms. But because you went through such a traumatic event, it needs to be ruled out. If you do not have PTSD, then your diagnosis would most likely be some type of depression with anxiety.
I agree that therapy is a great option. Although you feel your language might be a barrier, it is worth a try. You and the therapist will just need time to adjust. From reading your post, you seem to communicate very well. A therapist can help you find ways to work on the trauma you suffered and help you gain confidence and self esteem. Depending on where you live, you may also want to contact a rape support group. A source that may help is called http://www.aftersilence.org/.
There are also some books you might want to try. One is called The Rape Recovery Handbook: Step-By-Step Help for Survivors of Sexual Assault by Aphrodite Matsakis. Another is Who's Afraid of the Dark?: A Forum of Truth, Support, and Assurance for Those Affected by Rape by Cynthia Carosella. Amazon.com or your local library are good sources for these books.
I believe with therapy you will regain the ability to enjoy your life once again. You just need the support right now to help you through.
I hope this has helped you,