Thank you for your reply. The information was very helpful.
I am frustrated with my current care for the following reasons:
1) When I informed the doctor that I had strong suicidal feelings, I was changed from Rivotril to Seroquel with no counseling. I have been given Seroquel 25mg and not Seroquel XR. I was told to take one tab at night. What I am finding is that when the effects of the Seroquel wear off, I start feeling agitated and sometimes aggressive - this is verbal not physical. I do not know whether I can attribute these feelings to a side effect of the Seroquel or whether the dosage is incorrect or whether this is just the nature of the illness? This leaves me feeling overwhelmed, desperately sad
2) I don't know whether I am suffering effects from sudden withdrawal of Rivortril and Ciprolex and whether this too is contributing to my moods and feelings.
3) I am terrified of taking the Seroquel and terrified of drug interactions. Last night, within minutes of taking the Seroquel 25mg, I had a head splitting headache and was too terrified to take Asprin or Panadol as I feel my body is being so over loaded with chemicals with potentially very bad side effects.
4) Although I feel that my doctor is very competent and conservative with prescribing medication, last night when she phoned me to tell me my lithium levels, we ended up arguing because I said I felt overwhelmed at the number of drugs being prescribed and she told me that I had insulted her. The last person on earth I need to be arguing with is my primary carer. Again this leaves me wondering am I such an awful person that I have turned into this aggressive beast that I can't have a conversation even with my psychiatrist without it degenerating into a heated discussion?
5) I am frustrated that no counseling has been offered because I think, if I was better informed as what to expect from the medications and the journey to stabilization, I and my family, may be better equipped to deal with the situation.
There is a book I read, entitled "A million little pieces" about a man who goes through alcohol rehabilitation. I feel just like that. Confidence shattered, self esteem shattered, levels of paranoia increasing and a sense of helplessness and extreme frustration and distress.
Can you point me towards any good reading material on bipolar disorder as there is so much information out there it is overwhelming?
Many thanks for your reply.