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Ask Dr. Shirley Schaye Your Own Question

Dr. Shirley Schaye
Dr. Shirley Schaye, Doctor
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1673
Experience:  PhD-Psych; Certif. Psychoanalyst NPAP& NYFS; Memb.APsaA;IPA; Pub.Author; Teach/Supervise Therapy
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My husband has exhibited some emotional outbursts lately where

Customer Question

My husband has exhibited some emotional outbursts lately where he curses and throws things. He does not throw things at me, but he gets very upset for about 10-15 mins. His behavior scares me. I did not see this behavior from him until his ex-wife moved states and he only got to see his young son on holidays and during summer. I am worried about him.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Shirley Schaye replied 6 years ago.

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

Thank you for contacting Just Answer. I am very sorry to hear about this behaviour. Perhaps you can sit down and talk to him and see if he can see his divorce attorney and see what can be done about the child custody. I can imagine how devastated he must feel.

JACUSTOMER-ct53cxlx- :

I think that will help, but should I be afraid of his behavior? He has had outbursts like this about twice a month or more for several months. Usually it is something small - like a computer not working, that sets him off... but he will say it goes back to him emotional stress.

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

So sit down and talk to him --- that you are concerned that he is throwing things. Do tell him that you understand how devastated that he must feel and do make sure that he calls the lawyer to start the work on this. If he cannot control himself tell him it might be a good idea to see a therapist to calm him down until this situation gets settled. But primary action is consulting with the divorce attorney.

JACUSTOMER-ct53cxlx- :

Do you think that he can change his behavior? If so, how would a therapist help him change?

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

I think it's a matter of dealing with this terrible situation. He's probably in a state of shock. A therapist will help him deal with it more constructively instead of him hurting himself and you.

JACUSTOMER-ct53cxlx- :

Can you explain what you mean by a state of shock?

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

Well, think of it this way --- first, let me ask you --- do you have any biological children? If you do how would you feel if your ex-husband just picked himself and moved with your child. I would be devastated. Most people would.

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

It's something that is very hard for someone to accept. Try to be very loving and understanding of him.

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

This definitely needs a lawyer!

JACUSTOMER-ct53cxlx- :

I do not have any children and we have not had our own kids yet. I try to understand his perspective, but it is hard sometimes. He is willing to go to therapy and I think it will help. We have talked about him contacting his lawyer, but he has not taken the initative. I will talk to him about it and emphasize that he needs to take action.

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

He must. Trust me when you two have a child you will understand so very completely how he feels. Nothing in the world could be worse than your child being robbed from you. I promise you when you have your own, you will think about what I have said. Try to be very supportive and he MUST contact the lawyer. I wish you well. And I hope this gets resolved soon.

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

If you have no more questions please click on ACCEPT and please leave feedback. If you have more questions, please don't hesitate to ask.

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