Hi! I believe I can be of help with this issue.
First, let me say I can imagine how frustrating this situation must be for you. You've already told her you believe this is the problem. You know, I've worked with people with BPD and with their loved ones all the way since my internship, so I can imagine her response when you told her you believe this is the problem was not to accept responsibility. A feature of BPD is blaming others for the feelings of instability inside.
And you must let her response guide you. What do I mean?
I know how frustrating it is for a loved one when he knows what will help the BPD sufferer. I've seen it so often. But the BPD person will NOT seek help just because a loved one points out the truth to them. They more typically run away to then ext person they emotionally attach to until that person burns out and goes away. Eventually, they get it sometimes. But not because someone told them; only when they get to their own moment of truth.
So I strongly urge you to move on in your life. The percentage of marriages, for example, where BPD is present that end in divorce is exceedingly high. Why? Because of this issue. So go on in your life. Know that you have learned something extremely important about the variety of human experience and the fragility of the human psyche.
I wish you the very best!
Please remember to click the green accept button. Feel free to continue the discussion; my goal is to get you the best answers possible. Bonuses are always appreciated! If I can be of further help with any issue, just put "for Dr. Mark" in the front of your new question, and I'll be the one to answer it. All the best, XXXXX XXXXX