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Dr. Olsen
Dr. Olsen, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2336
Experience:  PsyD Psychologist
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MY SON IN LAW HAS VERBALLY ABUSED MY DAUGHTER AND SHE GOES

Customer Question

MY SON IN LAW HAS VERBALLY ABUSED MY DAUGHTER AND SHE GOES INTO A DEPRESSION AND HAS LOST SELF ESTEEM...AND SAYS SHE IS LEAVING; WHEN HE SWEET TALKS HER, SHE FORGETS HOW NASTY HE GETS. HE DRINKS TOO MUCH AS W ELL. THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR 10 YEARS. SHE C OMES TO ME FOR HELP, BUT I THINK SHE NEEDS TO RESOLVE THIS. WHAT IS YOUR ADVISE
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Olsen replied 3 years ago.
Hello. Welcome to JustAnswer. I am sorry to hear about your daughter's situation. Let me ask you a question before I offer an answer. Has she separated from her husband ?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

THEY HAVE SEPARATED FROM TIME TO TIME, BUT SHE IS STILL LIVING WITH HIM..THEY HAVE VERY LITTLE MONEY...LOST IT IN THE EARLY RECESSION...AND HIS BAD INVESTMENTS IN BUSINESS AS WWELL.

Expert:  Dr. Olsen replied 3 years ago.
Hi, Thank you for response. I will work on my answer.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH; WHAT TIME ZONE ARE YOU IN??
Expert:  Dr. Olsen replied 3 years ago.
Hi, Thanks for waiting. Let me say I can imagine how worried, anxious and sad you must have been about this situation. It sounds like your daughter has symptoms of Depression. Perhaps, she may have been in a very difficult relationship with her husband who has been verbally abusive and may abuse alcohol. It is common for women to fall into depression and develop low self-esteem as a result of an abusive relationship or marriage.

I advise her to see a counselor to express and process her feelings and thoughts WEEKLY. She may ask her doctor for a psychologist/psychotherapist that she can work with weekly. Or, she can search a licensed psychologist on internet- such as the PSYCHOLOGY TODAY website. Go to (http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ppc/prof_search.php?iorb=4764) and enter your zip code and optional category of specialty such as Depression. Read psychotherapists’ profile to see if he or she specializes in Cognitive-behavior therapy and Depression. She may also want to create your mental image of psychotherapist that she wants to work with – Male or female? To note, many therapists offer initial consultation for free. So she can see it as an informational meeting. She can ask any question and negotiate psychotherapy fee. If she seeks a low fee counseling, she may call The United Way toll free # XXXXX to find the community mental health centers in her area in which she can get counseling even without health insurance. Additionally, she may benefit from having a support group for adults with depression in her area. To find a group therapy or a support group for yourself, contact a local hospital or a clinic by asking if they offer a group for people with depression. If she likes to find a support group online, check Mental Health America website section (http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/go/find_support_group) - Find a group in her area. She also may try some or all of the following to improve and manage your mood - 1. Exercise moderately, but regularly, 2. Eat healthy but delicious meals, 3. Regularize your sleep cycle, 4. Don't drink to excess or abuse drugs, 5. Spend some time every day in play, 6. Develop recreational outlets that encourage creativity, 7. Distance yourself from destructive situations or people, 8. Practice mindfulness meditation, or walk, or an intimate talk, every day, 9. Allow yourself to feel pride in your accomplishments, 10, Listen to compliments and expression of affection, 11. Build and use a support system, 12. Pay more attention to small pleasures and sensations, 13. Challenge yourself, 14. Avoid unstructured time, 15. Yoga, meditation, Acupuncture, Guided imagery, and massage therapy may be helpful. I hope your daughter gets well. Please let me know if I have overlooked any or you have more questions. Warm regards,

Edited by Dr. Olsen on 1/2/2011 at 6:05 AM EST

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