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Dr. Michael
Dr. Michael, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2177
Experience:  Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
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Doctor Michael, you have answered a few questions for me this past month and you

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Doctor Michael, you have answered a few questions for me this past month and your insight has been extremely helpful. I have been able to relax more and my thoughts have not been nearly as bothersome concerning my sexual orientation. I do however, have something to add that I didn't think about before but is an underlying problem, which may or may not be related. I have a diagnosis of moderate to severe ADHD that has been treated off and on since college, although more off than on until the past 2 years. And honestly if I hadn't gotten into legal trouble (a DUI, not my first serious screw up but my first DUI# XXXXX my career didn't require that I now remain compliant, I probably would not be treated for this now. The good news is I now understand I can't do it on my own and I do need help. In any case, to get to my point: is it possible because of this diagnosis and the trouble I have with things #I have a history of impulsivity and recklessness, not to mention a tendency to self s
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Michael replied 3 years ago.
Hello. I believe I can be of help to you with this issue.

The last part of your post was cut off and I couldn't finish it. You may be able to see where it was cut off and then, add the rest so I can respond. Incidentally, it is very good to hear from you again!
Expert:  Dr. Michael replied 3 years ago.
I hope you got my last post, so I will await your response..........
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Did you receive my second response?
Expert:  Dr. Michael replied 3 years ago.
No, I did not. This is the first response I've gotten following your initial post. Feel free to cut/past your first response, below.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Sorry about that, I will complete the initial question below: Doctor Michael, you have answered a few questions for me this past month and your insight has been extremely helpful. I have been able to relax more and my thoughts have not been nearly as bothersome concerning my sexual orientation. I do however, have something to add that I didn't think about before but is an underlying problem, which may or may not be related. I have a diagnosis of moderate to severe ADHD that has been treated off and on since college, although more off than on until the past 2 years. And honestly if I hadn't gotten into legal trouble (a DUI, not my first serious screw up but my first DUI) and my career didn't require that I now remain compliant, I probably would not be treated for this now. The good news is I now understand I can't do it on my own and I do need help. In any case, to get to my point: is it possible because of this diagnosis and the trouble I have with things (I have a history of impulsivity and recklessness, not to mention a tendency to self sabotage when things are seemingly going well) is life always going to be one major crisis after another. I have created a lot of pain, mostly for myself and am ready to do whatever I need to to prevent any more of it. I am seeing a psychiatrist who seems to have me on the right medications (Adderall, Abilify and Wellbutrin) and I have been seeing my therapist no less than twice a month for over a year. Although my therapist in particular seems to have helped keep this past year more sane than it's been in a long time I am always, always, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Probably because I am trying to recognize things, feelings, etc., I have recently questioned why, now, am I having feelings for #1) a man and #2) a man who is my therapist. I hope I have not been rambling too much and that this makes at least some sense. So, to add to and/or maybe clarify my above question, does it seem like I am doing everything I could be to prevent my past from recurring, or do you have other ideas?

Expert:  Dr. Michael replied 3 years ago.
I think you are struggling to really think about things, to access your true, inner feelings and values, etc. This is a very good thing but as you know, it takes work and a great deal of patience. I think you are used to acting with less-than-adequate forethought and any sort of planning, any serious pause is difficult for you because of your impulsiveness. It does sound like you are beginning to develop what psychologists call better "executive functions". In part, this is the ability to simply STOP to think more deeply about what you are thinking and feeling, inhibit your impulsiveness to act, and consider consequences and possible outcomes before you act. This is clearly critical to mastering your ADHD. So impatience and inhibition of impulsiveness is I think, difficult for you. Your history has been one in which things needed to be decided upon and happen NOW. So, if you are new experiencing periods of contemplation and reflection, and are stopping to really think about things, you are clearly on the right track.

The other interesting thing you said that really strikes home to me is the idea that when things are going relatively smoothly, uneventfully and you feel more 'sane' than you have felt in a long time, you become anxious that this is 'too good to be true' and that the 'other shoe must drop'. This anxiety does inform you that you expect problems, crises and difficult conflicts to come and go regularly. On some level, maybe this agitation in your life feels what 'normal' is to you; and without it, maybe you don't feel quite alive or challenged. you simply do not know how to stop and enjoy the absence relative disorder, chaos, problems etc., in your life. I think what is kind of exciting as I look at your life situation, is the fact that you are discovering many things about yourself that have been hidden away, or maybe you have been a bit afraid to look at For example, you haven't realized you can probably master your impulsiveness and lack of planning and have now had some glimpses that you can be more contemplative, thoughtful, planful, etc. What would you do with a less eventful, less stressful and more peaceful life situation? Would you not know what to do with yourself, or how to TRUST that you can have and deserve more peace, less chaos in your life? And also, you are discovering that your sexual orientation is more complex than you imagined it might be. Given all of the above, it is no wonder you are questioning whether you are 'doing all you can do' to prevent the past for repeating itself. I think you are second-guessing yourself BECAUSE in making these discoveries about yourself, you have to be feeling just a bit of trepidation, awkwardness and uncertainty----probably feeling a real admixture of different feelings. Incidentally, I enjoy reading your posts and so no, I don't find that you ramble on too much. I'll pause here and let you respond and react.............
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Wow, I'm not even sure where to begin; I had to read your response several times just to take it all in. First of all you described how things are in my life perfectly. Everything has always had to be 'right now!' ...and this affects just about all aspects of my life. I have had financial trouble, some legal problems and lots of relationship problems. It has always been hard for me to plan or really see and weigh potential consequences of my actions. Although I think I'm gaining new awareness and understanding of my past and why my life maybe took the various directions that it did it is still a struggle not repeating the same mistakes. You really amazed me with the comment about what is 'normal' for me...you are absolutely right and I guess I hadn't thought about the fact maybe having no chaos does create anxiety in me. I have to admit I feel some fear that I will always be feeling the need to stir things up to keep things interesting. I would like to think I have finally learned my last lesson but I honestly don't trust myself. I appreciate your answers and responses more than I can express. You are truly a skilled, insightful professional and have given me a lot to think about. Athough I have been going to therapy in person for a year this has been amazingly beneficial from just the 3 interactions on here. I'm glad my rambling has not been too tedious and I sincerely XXXXX XXXXX time.
Expert:  Dr. Michael replied 3 years ago.
Your posts have not tedious at all--on the contrary, quite interesting. Do feel free to contact me again if I can be of any assistance. I think you are in a period of fascinating change, or the potential for it and I truly wish you well. My best regards.....
Dr. Michael, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2177
Experience: Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
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