Sorry about that, I will complete the initial question below: Doctor Michael, you have answered a few questions for me this past month and your insight has been extremely helpful. I have been able to relax more and my thoughts have not been nearly as bothersome concerning my sexual orientation. I do however, have something to add that I didn't think about before but is an underlying problem, which may or may not be related. I have a diagnosis of moderate to severe ADHD that has been treated off and on since college, although more off than on until the past 2 years. And honestly if I hadn't gotten into legal trouble (a DUI, not my first serious screw up but my first DUI) and my career didn't require that I now remain compliant, I probably would not be treated for this now. The good news is I now understand I can't do it on my own and I do need help. In any case, to get to my point: is it possible because of this diagnosis and the trouble I have with things (I have a history of impulsivity and recklessness, not to mention a tendency to self sabotage when things are seemingly going well) is life always going to be one major crisis after another. I have created a lot of pain, mostly for myself and am ready to do whatever I need to to prevent any more of it. I am seeing a psychiatrist who seems to have me on the right medications (Adderall, Abilify and Wellbutrin) and I have been seeing my therapist no less than twice a month for over a year. Although my therapist in particular seems to have helped keep this past year more sane than it's been in a long time I am always, always, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Probably because I am trying to recognize things, feelings, etc., I have recently questioned why, now, am I having feelings for #1) a man and #2) a man who is my therapist. I hope I have not been rambling too much and that this makes at least some sense. So, to add to and/or maybe clarify my above question, does it seem like I am doing everything I could be to prevent my past from recurring, or do you have other ideas?