i do not believe that she abuses drugs. She also has some faith and a long term male friend. However, even though this man is 20 years older than her and they were partners once, he has no emotional insights himself and I feel it is a replay of my sister's own relationship with her father, who was emotionally abusive to us all, was a Walter Mitty character and was very nasty to me, after my beloved mother died. My sister and my father took over the family assets, and I was deprived of some of my father's estate. However, I have come through all of that with the help of my mother's brother, my uncle and godfather. I suffer from anxiety myself, but am a high achiever, but sorely affected my losing my mother to Alzheimers when I was only 20- then left to deal with a father who picked on me a lot, escaped into an ill advised marriage, which broke up early. I have a good career, but feel very frustrated at times- I need to be more wordly to be able to deal with my sister. She left for Canada and the US in her twenties, so escaping the worst of the fallout from my mother's illness and subsequent death. My sister sought validation from my crazy father and now I feel this relationship with this older man, who is emotionally Asperger like, is stopping her move into a space of confronting these issues with intimacy. I just have to protect myself I think, if she is never going to deal with these issues. I also think she fights with other medics at work and doesnt ever tell me, when I visit her on holidays. I have sought therapy and this New YEar am determined to make changes and find a happier life. I also announced over Christmas to her that I was fed up of eccentric people, and that they could fly around me, but are not going to nest in my hair!