How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Howard Your Own Question

Howard
Howard, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 181
Experience:  I have worked 6 years with adolescents with behavioral issues, especially addictions.
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Howard is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How does this work

Resolved Question:

<p>I was just curious as to the process.  My actual question regards XXXXX XXXXX  Details regarding my concerns follow.</p><p>Apparent change of values following her marriage several years ago.  Now lives with his parents and him.  Previously was very close to her 3 siblings, now it is as if she may only spend time with us if in-laws or spouse are present.  She usually only calls us if she is on her way home from work (long commute).  Calls end when she arrives at the house.  She is not being abused in any way, but she seems to have completely bought in to the new family.  It is a very insidious kind of thing.</p><p>I recently requested that she come away with me and the other two siblings for a brother and sister weekend.  She didn't respond.  When I mentioned that my spouse would not have a problem with it and that I don't think the other spouses would either, she didn't respond.  So, I said, do you think *** would mind, she said, "Most definitely".  </p><p>That more than anything has caused me real concern.  I keep hearing her say that in my head.  Something is definitely wrong here.  </p><p>Her time with her family has been extremely limited since the relationship began.  Such time is always restricted by the needs of the husband's family. He is ALWAYS present, and all of our relationships with her have been affected by this.</p>
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Howard replied 3 years ago.

Howard :

Hi, I'm Howard and welcome to JA. Well, after 20 years as a teacher you must be aware that generally speaking, closed families generally mean something isn't right. However, it is possible that she is just totally melded into this family and does not have time for her siblings. I am guessing that the 2nd statement is not accurate. I would guess that you have pretty good instincts and if something doesn't look, smell, sound right, it probably is something to raise your awareness about. If you sense that she is caught in a controlling relationship, I think you may have good reason.

Customer :

Thanks for the confirmation that she may be in a controlling relationship. I always assumed that some sort of overt abuse must be taking place as well for someone to be in such a relationship. That doesn't seem to be the case here. It is more of an insidious, manipulative thing. I will see what I can find out about this kind of control. For now, I am being patient and always accessible to her. I do not initiate contact with her and try to always play by the new "rules" so that I won't be completely shut out. My only plan for now is to outlast him and hope that my sister sees what is happening in her life.

Howard, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 181
Experience: I have worked 6 years with adolescents with behavioral issues, especially addictions.
Howard and 3 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
 
 
 

Related Mental Health Questions