Hello- Thank you for asking the question here at JustAnswer. I have read what you have written and am happy to respond.
I am sorry to hear about this issue. It is a devastating experience for a marital relationship and even though you had a "gut" awareness that something was going wrong, to confirm the reality if a tremendous blow
In 30 years of working with couples, I have seen many people suffer in this process and I will tell you that when affairs have been going on for this length of time, the
destruction to the relationship is often unrepairable as in all solid relationships, trust and honor are primary foundations that keep the relationship together and when this basic foundation has been fractured it is major challenge for the spouse in situation to re-gain the lasting trust.
The desire to have details is common, however, the more you know the angrier you will become and it will serve no useful purpose because the botXXXXX XXXXXne is you have lost trust and knowing more will not make you more trusting.
The following link provides considerable information and detail regarding infidelity and how to survive an affair. Most people in your situation find it quire helpful.
I hope this is helpful to you at this difficult time.
PLEASE CLICK ACCEPT