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Good evening. Thank you for your detailed reply. My suggestion would be to ensure that you communicate to your son the events that are taking place as well as your thoughts concerning your mother's manipulative nature. Though I would strongly urge you to do explain this in such a manner that is not hostile or vindictive. Merely point out to him, objectively the events that have taken place in order to help him open his eyes to her behavior. The reason I suggest you handling it this way is to ensure an open and honest relationship between you and your son. If he observes you "bad mouthing" your own mother to him then he will begin to harbor thoughts of resentment and likely blame you thereby going to her aide.
It certainly sounds as though your mother harbors hostility toward you possibly related to your father though I am merely going be what you've identified. Though it is a plausible thought. You certainly possess the insight and understanding as to how to manage yourself and your mother. Likely the most effective approach to her would be to not allow her to engage you in any confrontations and if she does then I strongly urge you to walk away from her and not give her the benefit of her "pushing your buttons" and/or aggravating you. Don't give her the benefit of getting to you. My belief is that once your son witnesses your not allowing her to get to you he will recognize your mother's immaturity and your mature manner of handling situations. Please let me know if this helps to answer your question. Also please let me know if you have any further questions or thoughts as to how I could help.
If you feel I've answered your question completely and thoroughly then I would sincerely XXXXX XXXXX clicking the ACCEPT button thereby giving me credit for your answer. I look forward to your response and wish you a Happy New Year!!
Good morning. As for your mother's behavior she presents more along the lines of passive=aggressive personality traits as well as bordering on sociopathic behavior. She definitely has narcissistic traits though I feel the above describes her better characterologically.
I would actually agree with you with regards XXXXX XXXXX calloused and rude behavior is certainly due to a personality disorder brought on by her history. Thought having said that, regardless of the disorder, it should certainly not be an excuse for her behavior and aggressiveness though it likely is. It's also likely that she is abusive due to what I mentioned earlier concerning the pregnancy and possessing an unconscious resentment and anger she may or may not be aware of.
The difficulty here is that even if you present to her with Objective date (i.e. DSM criteria outlining the disorders) she will likely never admit to having anything wrong with her and thereby maintain the abuse.
Mu suggestion remains the same as my previous reply. Please let me know if you have any further thoughts or questions as I want to ensure that you have all your questions answered completely and thoroughly.
If you feel I've answered your question completely and thoroughly then I would sincerely XXXXX XXXXX clicking the ACCEPT button thereby giving me credit for your answer. I look forward to your response.