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Luann
Luann, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 158
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist, 24 years experience working with children, adolescents, families and adults.
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I have until recently been in a happy and loving relationship

Resolved Question:

I have until recently been in a happy and loving relationship with a woman who was the subject of doestic violence both physical and psychological for years. After she left her husband it was only 2 mths before she was in another relationship and there were a few more short term relationships before we meet 27 months ago.

She says she is happy with our relationship and loves having me as part of her life but for her to be able to have the "perfect" relationship like her married friends, she now wants to take a break from our relationship because she says she need to be alone for a while and deal with "issues" from her past.

I am confused and looking for help to try and understand what she is going through so i can be more supportive to her if we rekindle our relationship.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Luann replied 6 years ago.

Hello,

What a distressing and confusing situation this is for you. It sounds like you believe her issues have to do with some of her past relationships, but you are not sure. Her issues may have to do with other things, maybe from her childhood or just within herself. Until you know for certain, do not assume. Just accept that she has some issues she needs to work on and that she will tell you about it when she is ready. If the meantime you need to take care of you. All we really have any influence on in a relationship is ourselves. Work on being your best self. Take a break from thinking about her and her issues. If you need to go to counseling/therapy to do that or just for support, do it! Take this time to focus on you, being your best physically and emotionally. Think about what you want in a relationship and in your life. Take up a new hobby, take a class, take a trip you have always wanted to take. See this as an opportunity for yourself as well as your relationship with her.

Luann and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you