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TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5785
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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hello i have had an obsessive or excessive thoughts about women

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hello i have had an obsessive or excessive thoughts about women i speak to either online or just met . it has affected my mental alertness as i have always been a day dreamer as well. i believe i have many intrusive thoughts i strongly believe its OCD [esp with an episode in the past i think ocd is the diagnosis ]..but my worrying is based now on thoughts of havin gay thoughts or intrusive thoughts that cannot differenciate sometimes these sexual thoughts wouldchange from adult women to young girls i know i am not a pedophile nor would i ever wish to ever engage in this. i want to know what can i do???? i have always been a heterosexual man.i consider myself a spiritual person for most of my life a churchgoer as well. I want to have kids and marry one day.I AM SO CONFUSED CAUSE THIS HAPPENED ALL OF A SUDDEN and to compound it my eyes would be looking at male genital the same way i would excessively looking at females private parts in the past now i am doin this to males its not as bad as b4 but i dont believe in either being a bysexual either i find it to be just as disgusting. the thoughts make me have emotional pains.

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.


OCD is the occurrence of unwanted repeated and persistent thoughts, images, impulsive and/or ideas and fears that seem unusual or out of place. Some of the common fears are germs, not having objects or things in an orderly fashion, sexual thoughts or images, or horrifying images or thoughts that feel out of control. Obsession is the thinking part of OCD and compulsion is the acting out part of OCD.


Thoughts like you are describing are very common. Although they are stressful, keep in mind thoughts do not mean actions. Lots of people have thoughts of things they would never consider doing.


Because of the nature of your thoughts, you may be hesitant to seek help. But I highly recommend that you have the support of a therapist to help you deal with the stress of what you are going through. And although you suspect that you have OCD, you need a qualified therapist to evaluate you and determine a diagnosis. That will help you get the right treatment and lead to recovery.


Treatment can include therapy and medications, if needed. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is commonly used and is very effective in treating OCD.


A book that might help you is called "It'll be Okay.": How I Kept Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) from Ruining My Life by Shannon Shy. You can find it on or your local library may be able to provide a copy.


I hope this has helped you,


Customer: replied 6 years ago.
hello thank u but can i verify... what do u mean obsession is the thinking part and in particularly.. COMPULSION THE ACTING PART out cause.. cause i particularly feel tensed alot when i am around ppl who have notions about me of what they heard from the grape vine as gossip does no good since it has me ever ever mindful of what ppl might be thinking of me. so i tend to act out these compulsions at times its crazy i dont feel i am attracted to ppl of my own sex but when i am around ppl who think i might be i can t help it and major anxiety kicks in and i cant control my thoughts and i feel i cannot balance seeing a beautiful woman and a handsome guy i dont feel anything for the guy but if he is ugly my thoughts will not control me at all but if she is ugly and yet attractive i still feel inclined towards her .. i feel my brain and a sensation going down mychest when these improper sensations or god forbids feelings i can t put a finger on it and say its feelings .. i dont want to live in denial but i know in my heart i dont accept that lifestyle of being gay i am not inclined to go there i dont judge pp adversely only wishing them to adjust their lives esp if they wish to entertain a bible faithbased hope when they die etc .. i suppose i might be sayin the same things BUT COULD U EXPOUND ON YOUR ANSWER PLS IF U STILL ONLINE

Yes, that is correct. Obsession is the thinking part of what you are experiencing. However, compulsion is the feeling that you want to act on what you are thinking, not actually acting on it. When you deal with emotional issues such as OCD, the feelings are strong and it often causes anxiety for the person experiencing the thoughts. OCD is actually part of the anxiety group of disorders that therapists use to help reach a diagnosis.


It seems that what you are feeling is a normal part of an OCD diagnosis. However, it is very difficult to give you a definite answer and that is why I recommended the evaluation with the therapist. You need to sit down with a professional and give them the symptoms you are experiencing as well as a complete history of your problem.


Remember, it is a sign of strength that you are reaching out and asking for help with this problem. That is usually a turning point for most people and one of the hardest parts of recovery. The fact that you see this issue and are willing to work on it will go far in helping you deal with your symptoms and ultimately put you on a path for recovery.


My best to you,




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