Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.
OCD is the occurrence of unwanted repeated and persistent thoughts, images, impulsive and/or ideas and fears that seem unusual or out of place. Some of the common fears are germs, not having objects or things in an orderly fashion, sexual thoughts or images, or horrifying images or thoughts that feel out of control. Obsession is the thinking part of OCD and compulsion is the acting out part of OCD.
Thoughts like you are describing are very common. Although they are stressful, keep in mind thoughts do not mean actions. Lots of people have thoughts of things they would never consider doing.
Because of the nature of your thoughts, you may be hesitant to seek help. But I highly recommend that you have the support of a therapist to help you deal with the stress of what you are going through. And although you suspect that you have OCD, you need a qualified therapist to evaluate you and determine a diagnosis. That will help you get the right treatment and lead to recovery.
Treatment can include therapy and medications, if needed. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is commonly used and is very effective in treating OCD.
A book that might help you is called "It'll be Okay.": How I Kept Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) from Ruining My Life by Shannon Shy. You can find it on Amazon.com or your local library may be able to provide a copy.
I hope this has helped you,