Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.
OCD is the occurrence of unwanted repeated and persistent thoughts, images, impulsive and/or ideas and fears that seem unusual or out of place. Some of the common fears are germs, not having objects or things in an orderly fashion, sexual thoughts or images, or horrifying images or thoughts that feel out of control. Obsession is the thinking part of OCD and compulsion is the acting out part of OCD.
Thoughts like you are describing are very common. Although they are stressful, keep in mind thoughts do not mean actions. Lots of people have thoughts of things they would never consider doing.
Because of the nature of your thoughts, you may be hesitant to seek help. But I highly recommend that you have the support of a therapist to help you deal with the stress of what you are going through. And although you suspect that you have OCD, you need a qualified therapist to evaluate you and determine a diagnosis. That will help you get the right treatment and lead to recovery.
Treatment can include therapy and medications, if needed. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is commonly used and is very effective in treating OCD.
A book that might help you is called "It'll be Okay.": How I Kept Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) from Ruining My Life by Shannon Shy. You can find it on Amazon.com or your local library may be able to provide a copy.
I hope this has helped you,
Yes, that is correct. Obsession is the thinking part of what you are experiencing. However, compulsion is the feeling that you want to act on what you are thinking, not actually acting on it. When you deal with emotional issues such as OCD, the feelings are strong and it often causes anxiety for the person experiencing the thoughts. OCD is actually part of the anxiety group of disorders that therapists use to help reach a diagnosis.
It seems that what you are feeling is a normal part of an OCD diagnosis. However, it is very difficult to give you a definite answer and that is why I recommended the evaluation with the therapist. You need to sit down with a professional and give them the symptoms you are experiencing as well as a complete history of your problem.
Remember, it is a sign of strength that you are reaching out and asking for help with this problem. That is usually a turning point for most people and one of the hardest parts of recovery. The fact that you see this issue and are willing to work on it will go far in helping you deal with your symptoms and ultimately put you on a path for recovery.
My best to you,