My question is regarding cultural differences and conflicting needs.
My husband immigrated from Poland 20 years ago (I'm American born)
We've been married 19 years. We have two teenage boys 15 and 17.
His niece also immigrated to America 10 yrs ago and I helped her extensively.
At times, she lived with us, I found her jobs, etc.
I began to feel like a doormat and taken advantage of.
It felt my husband was very happy to jump when she said jump.
I haven't heard from her in years. Husband still calls his niece,
but she rarely initiates a call to him. Basically, she wrote off contact
with us years ago. Husband acts oblivious to it.
He keeps trying - but I don't miss it !
Her parents (my husband's brother from Poland) has arrived and will stay with her.
Husband is talking about spending Christmas with them(???)
We have not spoken or seen each other (niece) in many years.
I doubt we are fond of each other.
not invite us over for Christmas.
His brother and wife from Poland don't speak English.
Although very nice people - they are strangers to me.
Husband just saw this brother from Poland 2 weeks ago when in Europe.
I have a chronic illness and could not stay long.
I agreed to visit his brother and wife -
but for Christmas? That's uncomfortable and awkward.
I also helped his other brother (who speaks English) after immigrating
to USA for three long years and he mooched off of us.
We have very different feelings. What turns him on, turns me off.
Too often, I have been put in uncomfortable situations regarding his family.
I am now sick and don't want to deal with it anymore - I feel as though I've
paid my dues. Yet his needs march on.
How can I lower the resentment I have toward my husband who
obviously views family different than myself. And how can I loweranxiety
when I do need to visit them?
What turns him on - turns me off and causes a lot of anxiety !