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Luann, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 158
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist, 24 years experience working with children, adolescents, families and adults.
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My 93 year old mother although she is very fit and well is

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My 93 year old mother although she is very fit and well is accusing people of stealing from her , I am very concerned as I am her last contact and she has accused me of stealing from her and says she wants no contact with me ,I have been advised to appolagise to her but if I do this will I not be re-inforcing the delusion and making things worse ?
when she accused my brother of stealing from her she started with small things at first and gradualy accused him of more and bigger things and I would be concerned that if i did appolagise the same patern would follow, or should i confront her and try to make her see the truth ?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Luann replied 5 years ago.

Luann :


Luann :

It is distressing when our loved ones are not functioning at their best. Remember your mother is 93, she may be on a variety of medication which add to her paranoia/delusions. Act with love towards her. You have a variety of acceptable responses to her, from apologizing to confronting. Maybe look for a response in the middle. You could simply say, I am sorry you feel that way and change the subject or just change the subject. Focus on maintaining a positive relationship. Rather than "visiting" or spending your time talking, look for activities to do together, like playing games/cards or reading to her. She has a lot of time on her hands to think and her thinking may go astray. You don't want to spend your time on that. Just spend time with her, be present.

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