What a tragic situation you describe. It is horrible to watch someone you love destroy their life. Unfortunately, there is not a lot you can do. Since she is an adult, she is able to make horrible decisions. If her actions make her a danger to herself or others than action can be taken. However, it is difficult to document danger to self with alcohol and drug use. It is evident to you but hard to document legally. I encourage you to get as much information as possible and to have resources available so when the opportunity comes where you are able to act you know what to do. Talk to your doctor, a local community mental health center, a local psychiatric hospital and a local alcohol/drug rehab program. They should be able to give you a lot of information. Seek some counseling for yourself, you will find the support very helpful during this difficult time. Find an Alanon group for support as well, http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ The most important thing is for you to continue loving your daughter while you love and take care of yourself. This is hard, support is almost always necessary to do this.
thank you for your advice. I must say it is nothing that hasn't been tried already. You say to collect all the information I can so that when the time comes I will be to act and know what to do. Just what do you mean by that?
I repeat my daughter is 29 and has a history of cutting herself on the wrist. She has medical records all over the Gold Coast
I will be with you shortly, received a phone call that I need to attend to.
Sorry for the delay. What I mean by collecting informations is to have the name and phone numbers of local programs, inpatient and outpatient. Know what the process is for admission. That way when your daughter is in a crisis, you can act quickly. You won't have to look up information.
Talk to your doctor about the legal and medical process for getting your daughter help.
ok. I guess that's what I am doing. I am going to see our doctor again today for just that reason. I feel that I need to have a plan of course.However, I have been looking for long term rehab and have not come up with much locally. Intervention, I think, is the only way to go and without having that alternative set up to offer, what's the point?
I am glad you are talking with your doctor. Should be a good resource for you. You are right, she probably needs long term treatment but may have to be in a primary treatment program first. You can work on planning an intervention, but she may still choose not to go to treatment. At that point, you have two options, wait for a crisis where you can get her into a hospital program or work on getting her legally committed. A crisis may be her threatening to hurt herself or actually hurting herself, like cutting, and you calling the police to intervene. A crisis may be some kind of legal trouble she may get into. Either way, waiting for a crisis or working on a legal committment is going to be emotionally draining for you. Get some support for yourself.
The other kind of information you can be gathering is documenting her use and negative behaviors. Do not go out of your way to know what she is doing, but just document what is known to you. This may be helpful if you do an intervention, if legal action is taken or she ends up in the hospital.
Thank you Luann
Best of luck to you!