Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.
First, I'm sorry that you are going through this and feeling worse. You seem quite in touch with how you feel and very aware of any issues you have to deal with. This tells me that you are motivated and insightful.
You said that you have seen your therapist for about 7 sessions so far. Depending on the type of therapy you are in, that could be a short or normal amount of time. I say this because although there are many different types of therapy, there are two that are most commonly used. Psychotherapy, basically "talk" therapy", can be open ended. You stop when you and the therapist feel you have gotten to the point you can cope on your own and your issues are manageable. Cognitive therapy, on the other hand, averages about 16 sessions. This type of therapy focuses on behavior based therapy. Homework assignments are common, making the actual needed therapy time less than regular therapy.
Your therapist is right. When you are in therapy, talking about your issues and feelings can make you feel a bit worse. You spend all that time talking about things that are upsetting you, and resolution of these issues is a slow process. Digging in and bringing up painful problems can make you more acutely aware of sadness, depression and other challenging feelings.However, if at any time you feel that you are not making progress and that your therapist is not listening to you and not responding in a helpful way, try another therapist. The trick here is to know when you are uncomfortable because you are working on a tough issue as opposed to when you just feel you are not making progress because the therapist is preventing your progress by not helping you appropriately.
However, I'm am most concerned that you have had feelings of hurting yourself but have not mentioned this to your therapist. It is important she is aware of how you feel so she may best assess how to treat you. If you are fearful you will be hospitalized, be aware that you can only be committed if you have a clear intention of hurting yourself. Otherwise, you can refuse treatment (this is true for the US. If you are elsewhere, you may ask your therapist for the rules around this). It is your right.
The fact that you are in therapy, that you are reaching out on Just Answer, and that you seem insightful and motivated all gives me the feeling that you are better off than you feel. Clients who are able to do those things often get better and do very well in therapy and beyond.
You may have already done this, but I suggest you seek out other ways to help yourself along with therapy. If I may suggest a few books that will give you some insight into your issues. One is called The Mindful Way through Depression: Freeing Yourself from Chronic Unhappiness by XXXXX XXXXX, XXXXX Teasdale, Zindel Segal, and Jon Kabat-Zinn. Another is Undoing Depression: What Therapy Doesn't Teach You and Medication Can't Give You by Richard O'Connor. Both of these can be found on Amazon.com or your local library may be able to get you a copy.
Most of all keep in mind that you are doing the right thing by reaching out and seeking help. Your willingness to do so will go a long way in helping you feel better.
I hope this has helped you,
Thank you this has helped a lot. I am in the UK so will ask my therapist about rules.
I will also try to be completley honest with her.
You are welcome! Take care.