I just now received your new question. Sorry about that.
Being abused sexually or any way is a trauma that distorts how we feel about ourselves and others. From what you told me, you suffered abuse and it affected your view of sexuality. This is a normal reaction to abuse.
From your point of view, sexuality could be seen as invasive. You were subjected to something against your will, and that is extremely traumatizing. Your partner may not understand how strongly you feel about what happened to you. When someone is abused, it is a unique experience and those who have the chance to grow up in a healthy environment have a hard time understanding.
Please consider counseling. I say that because in my experience with abuse survivors, counseling has helped greatly to change how they feel about the abuse and helped them to understand life as it should have been, not what they were subjected to. Your partner is willing to help. Take him up on it and heal yourself from the trauma. You are strong and you survived. You deserve a chance at a healthy relationship and you deserve the support and help to get you there.
Thank you for trusting me and sharing what you went through. It is a good sign that you are reaching out for help. Through this, you will gain strength and grow.
Take care, Kate