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TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5763
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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I think might have a problem with lying, what can i do to fix

Customer Question

I think might have a problem with lying, what can i do to fix it?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 5 years ago.

Hi, I'd like to help you with your problem.


You said that you tell lies and you are not sure how to fix it. To deal with it, it helps to understand what kind of lying you are talking about.


If you are dealing with what is called "white" lies, these are told to avoid embarrassing yourself or someone else, to help someone feel better and to avoid dealing with something unpleasant.


If you are speaking of chronic lying, this type of lying has to do more with avoiding responsibility, covering another lie, or just for no particular reason at all. Lying can also be used to make yourself feel more important than you feel. It puts a better "face" on you as a person and makes others believe you are more than you feel you are.


One of the ways to deal with lying is to try in small steps to tell the truth. It doesn't have to be a do all or nothing proposition. Small baby steps help you get used to telling the truth. Admitting you are lying is also a great first step as well. From your question, it sounds like you have done this. You must also take the next step and apologize for your lies. Lastly, take time to deal with the reasons behind your lies. Talk with someone if you feel your lying is a symptom of something like inadequacy or low self esteem.


Take it easy on yourself and go slowly when working on this issue. As long as you are aware it's a problem, you can fix it. And asking for help is a great first step.


I hope this helped,


TherapistMarryAnn and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Hi Kate,

Thankyou so much, to give you some more information i have told many little lies about insignificant things for no reason, i also tell lies to avoid responsibility for stuff i've done wrong and to cover up other lies. Sometimes i feel forced into it and even though i know its wrong i do it anyway. Other times i dont even realise that i am lying until i've done it, i want to stop hurting people that i care about, especially my girlfriend who has lost her trust me. i know its wrong even as i'm doing it so thanks for helping

Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 5 years ago.

You are welcome. I am so glad the answer helped you.


Thanks for the follow up information. It does sound like you may benefit from not only following some of the tips in the answer, but maybe consider talking with someone about your feelings. It doesn't have to be a counselor. Maybe a trusted friend or a pastor if you attend church.


You may also want to try this book: The Truth About Lying: Why and How We All Do It and What to Do About It by Gini Graham Scott. It may help you understand your problem better.


My best to you,


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