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Luann
Luann, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 158
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist, 24 years experience working with children, adolescents, families and adults.
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When should you say that Im Done My husband and I have

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When should you say that "I'm Done"? My husband and I have only been married for a year and 6 months but have been together for 9 years total. Here recently he has no been there for me and makes me spend my own money on things that we need. He has never been like this before. My dad past away a few weeks ago so it has been even harder for me to give him any slack. I am just not happy with it any more. I feel like he isn't giving me the attention that I deserve. I mean I work 12 hours a day and then go home to work 12 more. I just don't know what to do with this relationship anymore. My sex life has gone down hill, he is compassionate about anything any more. The way that I see it, is if it doesn't benefit him than he doesn't want anything to do with it. Can you please give me advise on what to do?

Luann :

Hello

Luann :

Sorry to hear about the loss of your father and your unhappiness with your marriage. You make it sound like your husband's behavior has changed recently. Any clues why this may be? Is something going on with him? The loss of your father is certainly a huge event in your life. I think before you make any major life decisions several things should be looked at.

JACUSTOMER-fjtul80d- :

He has changed since I have recently got permotion at work, but he was the one wanting me to accept it. What should I consider?

Luann :

I encourage you to work on your grief first. With the holidays coming up that may intensify your grief. Find a grief group, funeral homes often run these types of groups and/or a therapist that you can work with.

JACUSTOMER-fjtul80d- :

That could work, with my father passing it really makes me have hate feelings towards my husband. All of the problems my just be me. My marriage is really on the rocks.

Luann :

Work on the relationship next. He may be supportive of your promotion but he may also feel bad that he isn't doing better. It may have triggered some insecurities on his part. This is all speculative since he is not part of our conversation.

Luann :

After you have worked on your grief and are feeling a little more settled with that, talk with your therapist about the relationship issues. Hopefully he will agree to couples counseling which will provide a neutral place for the two of you to talk and work through issues

Luann and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Best of luck to you. Goodbye.

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