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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5517
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Overall feeling of blocked opportunities and not belonging. Current

Resolved Question:

Overall feeling of blocked opportunities and not belonging.

Current situation: My husband does not allow me to travel abroad with my 6 years old, he travels these two weeks into other country. Couple of weeks before he asked for divorce, but that I will start and ensure all the process, he won't deal with this. I told him I won't deal wit the divorce as well. I feel in prison.

My daughter's school- her teacher is highly problematic for many reasons, my husband does not intervene to school life at all. The school seem to discriminate against certain children, but it is impossible to proof.

The moms at the school behave in a very isolating way...I don't know why...and what is wrong with my daughter....or with me...

My job is located 150 miles away from home, with no job security or health insurance...

I feel blocked from everywhere...advice?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.

 

I am so sorry you are going through this situation. You talked about numerous problems. First, your husband and your relationship with him. Also, your husband's refusal to deal with your daughter's school problems. And the other mothers at the school not being friendly and acting aloof. Lastly, your job and the lack of security there.

 

First, your relationship with your husband sounds like there are not only control issues there, but if he is asking for a divorce, some deep seated issues between the two of you. Is he willing to seek counseling with you? That may be a good first step rather than just move straight to divorce. If he will not go with you, go to counseling yourself. You need support right now with your marriage and if you divorce, being in counseling already will help enormously.

 

If your husband refuses to help you deal with the school problems, is there someone at the school you could speak with about your daughter's teacher, maybe the school counselor or principal? Approach it in a non threatening and non accusatory manner and just explain the issue. In most cases, people will respond well if you approach problems that way.

 

Is there a way to volunteer at your daughter's school? I realize with a job you may not have time, but if you could participate in one activity, it might go a long way to getting you more acquainted with other moms and with your child's teacher.

 

With your job, is there a possibility of applying for another job? Maybe something closer with better security. It is a tough economy right now but it might be worth a try and if you start now, it may end up happening sooner than you think.

 

You have a lot of stress going on right now in your life. Take some time to get your mind off your problems and take care of yourself. You will be better able to handle what you are dealing with if you feel rested. Also, if there are any supports in your life like family or friends, see if they will help you with child care for an afternoon or at lease spend some time with you to give you a shoulder to lean on.

 

I hope this has helped,

Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5517
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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