Hi, I'd like to help you with your problem.
It sounds like from what you said your mother possibly suffers from schizophrenia. This is a very difficult condition to cope with, particularly for family members. I sympathize with your situation.
First of all, you are not responsible for your mother. That is not to say you cannot have a strong desire to help her. But taking on this burden can be extremely stressful, especially if you take it on alone. Support is a very important component to helping you cope. One way is to contact NAMI- The National Alliance for Mental Illness. They are at http://www.nami.org/
I agree with you about the Illinois commitment law. They may allow your mother to be committed, but only if she is deteriorating. From what you said, it sounds like your mother is stable at this point. If you should see her becoming worse, such as her hygiene declines, she is not eating or otherwise not caring for herself, I would attempt to bring her to the ER for an evaluation. You may also call a local mental health center and see if they agree that she meets the criteria for admission to a MH facility. They can offer you options for dealing with the situation.
Surviving Schizophrenia: A Manual for Families, Patients, and Providers by E. Fuller Torrey is a good book to get to help guide you through this. You can find it on Amazon.com or your local bookseller may be able to order it for you.
Most of all, remember to care for yourself. Take time to have fun, get away from the situation for a while and build a support system for yourself to fall back on if needed.
I hope this helped,
I completely understand what you are saying. And I can't say it enough- you have done nothing wrong.
You are attempting to make sense out of something that does not make sense. People who are afflicted with Schizophrenia deal in a world of delusions that make reasoning with them impossible. Oftentimes, it is the people they are closest with that bear the responsibility of the person and therefore become the easiest target for the person's delusions.
Keep in mind that Schizophrenia is a true disease. It occurs in 1 out of 100 people. Because it is a disease, you need to view it as such. Keep an eye on your mother but don't attempt to try to cure her. Until she is unable to care for herself, the law allows her to act on her own. That is why I suggested you contact NAMI to gain support and help you find answers to your mother's situation. They will be able to guide you and help you cope with your mom's behavior. Also you may want to consider some individual counseling or family counseling (for you and your father) to help you deal with your feelings about your mother's situation. The stress alone can be difficult to deal with and the more support you have, the better.
Please keep in mind that in the situation, you are doing everything you can. It is a helpless feeling to be unable to make your mother better, but in my experience, even the most qualified professional with years of experience could do no more than you are doing right now.
Take care and I wish you the best,
Thank you, XXXXX XXXXX to a friend and to my father about this and we agree that there is little we can do that will change anything, My mom did end up leaving yesterday because she was angry and I'm not sure if she will try to contact me again or not. I hope that eventually she will. My main worry is that we will lose contact, but under the laws there is little i can do to control her decisions at this point. It also sounds like there is little to nothing I can do to make her 'better' and further contact with me seems to only hurt her more since she takes everything I do rather personally. Thank you for talking with me, it has helped me put the situation into perspective.
I am so glad I could help. And I appreciate you letting me know. I know this is difficult, but you are doing wonderfully. Your mother is lucky to have such a caring daughter.
My best to you,