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Dr. Michael
Dr. Michael, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2177
Experience:  Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
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why do some men wear womens panties

Resolved Question:

why do some men wear women's panties?I was told it could be from low self esteem or depression
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Michael replied 3 years ago.
Hello. I believe I can be of help to you with this issue.

Four main reasons:

1. Emotional regulation or change. Putting on panties for some men changes their mood and makes them feel excited or calm, or more relaxed because the clothing change seems to alter their feelings about themselves.

2. Some men feel stifled in their daily role and some feel they have a 'feminine side' to their 'self' that can be both expressed and experienced when they wear women's clothing

3. Some men find that they experience emotional and sexual excitement while wearing women's panties. Women's panties are very intimate for women, covering their sexual organs. So, for some men, wearing this intimate clothing over their penis brings them close vicariously, to womens' sexual organs.

4. A conditioned, learned experience through repeated association between physiological responses of orgasm, and situational cues (sights, smells touch etc., of womens' panties) Some men have experienced orgasms while in close, intimate contact with women's panties and thus, subsequent re-experiencing of these visual, olfactory 'cues' (that were conditioned to sexual excitement) causes them to enjoy being in contact with them whenever possible.

I hope this information is helpful to you. Let me know if I have overlooked any aspect of your question.

Please be sure to hit the green Accept button at the bottom of this page. Thanks.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
His reason is that he gained a lot of weight and didn't feel good about himself. Would that contribute to his behavior?
Expert:  Dr. Michael replied 3 years ago.
Yes. Weight gain can make men feel depressed or lower their self-esteem; and as I mentioned, for some, wearing women's panties can elevate their mood, inducing a great deal of pleasure and ongoing sexual feelings. Some men feel excited knowing that they are wearing womens' underwear---which is an social 'taboo' of sorts, and they while no one else knows they are doing it. So they may gain excitement and an elevation of mood by engaging in such forbidden, quasi-sexual behavior.

Weight gain also may reduce feelings of sexual attractiveness in some men and fears that they aren't as virile to women. Wearing womens' underwear may help them compensate for the recognition that their spouse and other women would not find them to be an appealing sexual partner. Wearing the underwear brings them vicariously, in contact with 'sex'. .
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Is this behavior always sexual oriented?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Did you view my last question. Is this always sexually oriented?
Expert:  Dr. Michael replied 3 years ago.
Yes, there are always sexual emotional associated with this behavior. Consider the fact that 99.9% of men who become depressed or obese or both do not engage in dressing in specific, intimate women's clothing as a coping response to emotion regulation or self-esteem. Keep in mind that he substitutes his 'male' underwear for womens'---extremely intimate clothing with a particular look and feel. This is a specific selection preference that provides a unique, emotional experience either relating to feelings of femininity or mild sexual feelings. He is not electing to associate with non sexually-intimate womens' items such as carrying womens' watch in his pocket or simply carrying a woman's garter in his pocket. It is the actual wearing of the panties to cover his sexual organs, rather than mens underwear that has special emotional and sexualized meaning. Have you asked him what the emotional payoff is for dong this?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Yes. He said it made him feel thinner and better about himself. That he was not aroused just more self esteem.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Yes. He said it made him feel thinner and better about himself. That he was not aroused just more self esteem. Some times while during a sport activity, at work or just watching tv.
Expert:  Dr. Michael replied 3 years ago.
Your husband is either not fully aware of the motivations underlying his wearing of womens panties or can't divulge them to you. You of course, are wondering, "well, exactly HOW and WHY does wearing women's panties may you feel better about yourself? Why not buy a silk bathrobe like Hugh Hefner, or silk men's boxer shorts?"

This is most often, very harmless behavior. You will know there is more to the behavior than what your husband is expressing to you if he 'graduates' to other activities e.g., wears make up while at home, or starts wants to wear panties and hose, etc. This would suggest more significant discomfort with his everyday work role, and sense of 'self'.

I hope this information is helpful to you. Let me know if you have any additional follow up questions I've failed to address. I realize this is a perplexing issue that causes you to wonder what is 'going on'.

Please do not forget to hit the green Accept button at the bottom of the screen. Thanks.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
The progress he made after some therapy is he's lost the weight, communication is now open and he seems to be happy with himself without the garments. I just wanted to understand better and some insight to why. Is there anything I can do to keep him in this positive attitude?
Expert:  Dr. Michael replied 3 years ago.
You have the main 'ingredient' well-understood----open communication. Be an exceptional listener for him and when he does anything that represents a material accomplishment, completes a project etc., lavish him with verbal compliments and some affection. This is how mens' 'self-esteem' is elevated---they need to feel that they are impacting their external world and 'make a difference'. Communication/feedback provides this.

Participate with him in increasing his activity level because whatever he did to lose the weight has to continue as a permanent lifestyle change-- 'forever'. He will almost surely have some degree of relapse with the weight---85+% of people do. So be a role model for eating properly and increased activity. Also, try to alter your life for now so that buying to acquire things really takes a back seat to paying to experience things together. Much of this stuff is about communication and the quality of experiences one has in their primary relationships.

What do you think?
Dr. Michael, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2177
Experience: Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
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