So ever since my dad passed away 2 years ago from heart failure, I've been increasingly depressed. At first, I fought on, and I was so busy with college that I was able to focus on it rather than think too much about my dad. Then I graduated, moved to a new city where I got a good job, and lived by myself for a year (the first time living by myself). I become more depressed. I am not close to my former high school or college friends anymore, and it's tough making new friends. And all this loneliness has given me too much time to think about my dad and life.
My girlfriend of over three years recently left me because I'm no longer the happy, fun-loving guy I used to be. She wanted me to seek help from a psychologist, but I never did
. I miss her a lot, and miss my dad a lot, and don't know what to think about where I am in life now.
Recently, my depression has gotten worse as I've been through a bout of existential angst. You could say I'm an atheist... my scientific mind has trouble fathoming an afterlife, or a God, etc. The idea of death scares me into life paralysis; I'm afraid to make the next big move, because what if it's the wrong one? I have so many options in front of me that it kind of scares me, and at the same time I'm alone and miss my dad and ex-girlfriend.
So, I guess I'm just venting, don't really have a question besides... do you have any words of wisdom?