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mindhealer
mindhealer, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 693
Experience:  Licensed in MD and am also a Board Certified Diplomate (Advanced Practioner) I have over 10 years experience
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I had a girlfriend that has been on bipolar meds for the last

Resolved Question:

I had a girlfriend that has been on bipolar meds for the last 8 years come to find out she is not bipolar and is recovering from that and post tramatic syndrome so everything was going great for about 2 months and we were falling for each other and the next thing i know she is hving anxiety about getting close. We were very open about are pasts and are problems. I have let my entire guard down and now shejust wants to be friends and I cant get over it. any advice
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  mindhealer replied 3 years ago.

mindhealer :

Good evening I would be happy to help....I am available and online...let me know when you are back online and we can meet in the chatrooom

Customer :

Im back online

mindhealer :

hello

Customer :

hello how are you

mindhealer :

First let me say Im sorry to hear about your circumstance

mindhealer :

Im well thank you....how are you?

Customer :

Im good

mindhealer :

Good

mindhealer :

You mentioned its been about 2 months now since the break up?

Customer :

its been about a month we were seening each other for 2 months i know its a short time

mindhealer :

not necessarily...long enough to develop feelings

mindhealer :

If I may ask....what is it that you're going through at this point? confusion, anxiety, feeling depressed, etc?

Customer :

I would say all three

mindhealer :

ok.....do you still have contact with her?

Customer :

I have a past of not letting my wall down and lack of words geeting what i want and moving on

Customer :

Yes we talk every now and then im trying to give her space to heal

mindhealer :

but this time you let that wall down and ended up getting hurt?

Customer :

thats seems to happen everytime

mindhealer :

understood

mindhealer :

you mentioned wanting to give her space to heal....though you didnt say that about yourself

mindhealer :

it sounds like thats what you need as well

Customer :

True but I have a conflict with myself on this one were I dont want to give up

Customer :

I have let alot of good girls slip away in the past

mindhealer :

I truly appreciate and understand what you're saying

mindhealer :

have you suggested couples counseling to her?

Customer :

no she is already in counseling for post traumatic stress

mindhealer :

ok

mindhealer :

how long ago was the trauma that she experienced?

mindhealer :

(Im a trauma specialist so you know)

Customer :

I believe about 8 or 9 years ago she was date raped twice. and was misdiagnosed with bipolar

Customer :

so i am trying to have kid gloves and understand her needs

mindhealer :

Thank you for sharing that with me....unfortunately its often misdiagnosed as bipolar...Im glad she's getting the right treatment now

mindhealer :

The approach your taking is a kind and gentle one.....its admirable what you are doing....however, its not getting rid of your pain...if anythiung its sustaining it

Customer :

true

Customer :

I am one that wants to help but you cant ya know

Customer :

I care more for other peoples well being than mine

mindhealer :

I know what you're saying....you're likely feeling helpless that you cant help her right now...is that accurate?

Customer :

yes and some selfishness becuase i want to be with her

mindhealer :

its not selfish at all

mindhealer :

its actually normal to feel that way

mindhealer :

you shouldnt feel guilty for wanting to be with someone

Customer :

true i guess my issue is i never had someone effect me this way it is usually all about sex and this time its all about the amazing person i see in her and i dont know if she can see it

mindhealer :

I can see that....its foreign territory for you and you're trying to do whats best for you both

mindhealer :

may I make a couple suggestions?

Customer :

yes please

mindhealer :

first one you've already done....you've let her know that you are there for her and are supportive of her

mindhealer :

PTSD can last for sometime so you should know that.....she may not fully recover but she will get better

Customer :

understand that

mindhealer :

my inclination is that she sees you standing by her she will understand how much she means to you

mindhealer :

thats first

Customer :

okay

mindhealer :

second I would suggest getting into therapy for yourself

mindhealer :

I think it would benefit you a great deal to start managing your emotios in a healthier manner

Customer :

have thought about that

Customer :

I lost my father five years ago to cancer and still have trouble dealing with that

mindhealer :

Im so sorry to hear that

Customer :

and have some anger

mindhealer :

I imagine this is also bringing up those old feelings as well

Customer :

but not hurtful anger just the normal what the F

mindhealer :

the anger is actually normal....its likely more frustration and hurt than anything else

Customer :

yes

Customer :

thats a better word

mindhealer :

My suggestion is to find a therapist you're comfortable with and get to work on yourself...put yourself first this time

Customer :

Okay

mindhealer :

do you have any other questions or anything else I can help with?

Customer :

I think thats all i guess i just need to here it from someone else thats not bias

mindhealer :

You can end the chat by clicking the Accept button if you feel Ive answered you thoroughly. I sincerely XXXXX XXXXX the best

mindhealer :

thats always helpful...hence therapy! :)

Customer :

Thank you very much have a great holliday

mindhealer :

you do the same

mindhealer, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 693
Experience: Licensed in MD and am also a Board Certified Diplomate (Advanced Practioner) I have over 10 years experience
mindhealer and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
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  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
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