Good evening I would be happy to help....I am available and online...let me know when you are back online and we can meet in the chatrooom
Im back online
hello how are you
First let me say Im sorry to hear about your circumstance
Im well thank you....how are you?
You mentioned its been about 2 months now since the break up?
its been about a month we were seening each other for 2 months i know its a short time
not necessarily...long enough to develop feelings
If I may ask....what is it that you're going through at this point? confusion, anxiety, feeling depressed, etc?
I would say all three
ok.....do you still have contact with her?
I have a past of not letting my wall down and lack of words geeting what i want and moving on
Yes we talk every now and then im trying to give her space to heal
but this time you let that wall down and ended up getting hurt?
thats seems to happen everytime
you mentioned wanting to give her space to heal....though you didnt say that about yourself
it sounds like thats what you need as well
True but I have a conflict with myself on this one were I dont want to give up
I have let alot of good girls slip away in the past
I truly appreciate and understand what you're saying
have you suggested couples counseling to her?
no she is already in counseling for post traumatic stress
how long ago was the trauma that she experienced?
(Im a trauma specialist so you know)
I believe about 8 or 9 years ago she was date raped twice. and was misdiagnosed with bipolar
so i am trying to have kid gloves and understand her needs
Thank you for sharing that with me....unfortunately its often misdiagnosed as bipolar...Im glad she's getting the right treatment now
The approach your taking is a kind and gentle one.....its admirable what you are doing....however, its not getting rid of your pain...if anythiung its sustaining it
I am one that wants to help but you cant ya know
I care more for other peoples well being than mine
I know what you're saying....you're likely feeling helpless that you cant help her right now...is that accurate?
yes and some selfishness becuase i want to be with her
its not selfish at all
its actually normal to feel that way
you shouldnt feel guilty for wanting to be with someone
true i guess my issue is i never had someone effect me this way it is usually all about sex and this time its all about the amazing person i see in her and i dont know if she can see it
I can see that....its foreign territory for you and you're trying to do whats best for you both
may I make a couple suggestions?
first one you've already done....you've let her know that you are there for her and are supportive of her
PTSD can last for sometime so you should know that.....she may not fully recover but she will get better
my inclination is that she sees you standing by her she will understand how much she means to you
second I would suggest getting into therapy for yourself
I think it would benefit you a great deal to start managing your emotios in a healthier manner
have thought about that
I lost my father five years ago to cancer and still have trouble dealing with that
Im so sorry to hear that
and have some anger
I imagine this is also bringing up those old feelings as well
but not hurtful anger just the normal what the F
the anger is actually normal....its likely more frustration and hurt than anything else
thats a better word
My suggestion is to find a therapist you're comfortable with and get to work on yourself...put yourself first this time
do you have any other questions or anything else I can help with?
I think thats all i guess i just need to here it from someone else thats not bias
You can end the chat by clicking the Accept button if you feel Ive answered you thoroughly. I sincerely XXXXX XXXXX the best
thats always helpful...hence therapy! :)
Thank you very much have a great holliday
you do the same