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Karyn Jones
Karyn Jones, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1716
Experience:  Diploma of Counselling and Transactional Analysis Counselling, Lifeline counselling, Pastoral Care.
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hi,I have agirl who is nine years old, she told her teacher

Customer Question

hi,I have agirl who is nine years old, she told her teacher i want to die ,the teacher asked her why u say that,she said its like the movie.

can u help me to understand what she is going thru pls
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Karyn Jones replied 6 years ago.
Hello my name is XXXXX XXXXX you for bringing your concerns to Just Answer...regards XXXXX XXXXX daughter..for which I am truly sorry to hear of..a very difficult and stressful situation for you all to say the least..
I can well understand just how shocked you were when you found out what your daughter said to her teacher.
This age is a very impressionable age with regards XXXXX XXXXX she sees,hears, and what is modeled to her by way of influence, in and thorugh friends, family and others...
Many changes also occur with regards XXXXX XXXXX overall development..this is a difficult time for children of both sexes...Its a time of great hormonal changes and a time of peer pressure..whereby negative feelings/thoughts can impact upon her decision making process. Overall not an easy time of it for her.....
Though as I say this, a part of me is wondering if she's trying to illicit same sort of reaction for attention...'to shock' perhaps..
Telling her you love her is a great way to overcome this though. Also let her know that if she dies, everything in her life is over. Sit down and talk to her about things she wants to do in the summer, vacations she wants to go on,jobs she wants to hold...then show her, gently, that all those hopes and dreams would be gone..if she chose to die 'like in the movies'. Research tells us that children, all go through a phase where they are interested in death...and start asking many questions about it. How each child handles that phase is very different...some take a very 'dramatic' reproach. So take time out together and sit down with her and talk to her about the future help her to look 'ahead' to things ..try and get her excited to draw her out of the death thought.

Explain to her that if she died, she wouldn't get to...do all the things she wants to do.. This will really cause her to stop and think about things. Tell her how many people would be heartbroken about her being gone (go t through EVERYONE, friends, grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, etc.).We did this with my own son back then and he was very quiet for the rest of the day ( taking it all in) and hasn't brought it up since. This is also a great time to start doing some simple goal setting with her. See what sports, or games she'd like to do, things she'd like to learn. There is a lot of information and help on the web for any parent to find creative things for their children...and you would be surprised how keeping her busy with a little craft will change her mood for the entire day!...seek to do something 'special together'' I hope this helps you and keep in mind, if you keep her talking about great things in her future, and she'll be thinking about living...
Please also keep a watchful eye on what TV and movies she is watching ..as these can have an negative impact on her...& all children..
If on the other hand you have done the above to no avail and she still thinks and talks about death then please take her to your Dr she might well be suffering with the onset of depression..as children can become affected by this disorder to..
If it has been of help to you then please 'accept' my response as it also helps greatly to keep this valuable service going for you and others in the future..Take good care..
You will be in my thoughts ..
Blessings
Karyn

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