Ask a Psychiatrist and Get Answers to Mental Health Questions ASAP
My name is XXXXX XXXXX I’m a Moderator for JustAnswer. Thanks for your question! I'm sorry that you haven't received an answer yet. Questions usually are answered within the hour, but this can depend on different factors, including the difficulty of your question, how many questions are being posted by customers and how many Experts are on the site at the time you posted your question. I will go ahead and try to find an Expert to assist you with your question and appreciate your patience. You will receive an email notification when an Expert replies to you, just as you did here. Please do not reply to this message unless you do not need further help. If that is the case, please let me know and I can assist you with that. Please remember that if you get a satisfactory answer from your Expert to click the green “Accept” button so the Expert is compensated for a job well done. Positive feedback is also appreciated. :) If you have any questions regarding deposits or billing, please feel free to use the help link below: http://www.justanswer.com/help/contact.aspx Best, Donna Moderator
Hence, fear of rejection can come from many sources; from being rejected as a child, or feeling abandoned, lonely or unloved..while growing up...I suspect a very painful time for you. Its ingrained in all of us since birth... As babies we are totally dependent on our care takers/parents for our survival. As our needs as children could not possibly be always attended to, there were times when our caretakers/parents "failed" to be there for us, likely through no fault of their own...(and sadly,when your mum passed away)
When your needs went unmet however, while growing up, you were left feeling emotionally and/or physically deprived of care. This created within you feelings of emotional hurt
One of these was the feeling of abandonment and or rejection. This "hurt" remained within you and also grew cumulatively each time other needs went unmet.
These unmet needs can stem from feeling/ being repeatedly rejected in many situations,( past relationships/your ex husband, family, siblings) but regardless of the cause, it can create real problems in the ‘here and now’...sadly, this seems very much the case for you today.
Fear of rejection can lead to feelings of betrayal, obsessiveness, clinginess or jealousy in relationships.
It can make you become too serious too soon, eventually driving others away.
It can cause you to reject others to avoid being rejected yourself; overall it is a very damaging pattern of emotion and behavior that can cause real hurt to relationships and your enjoyment life in general.
And in addition, people often spend a lot of time looking for, and thinking he/she have found, ‘evidence’ to support their idea that they are being rejected…
The most important thing to understand about fear of rejection/abandonment is that it is driven by emotion.
It is not thoughts that cause you to act this way, but rather the way that you feel.
You are entitled to a full and joyful life and fulfilling happy relationships..and the only successful way you will be able to release, this would be by way of your seeking out a 'specialist therapist who practices CBT...( Cognitive Behavioural Therapy).
CBT can help you to change how you think ('Cognitive') and what you do ('Behaviour'). and these changes can help you to feel better. Unlike some of the other talking treatments, it focuses on the 'here and now' problems and difficulties. Instead of focusing on the causes of your distress or symptoms in the past, it looks for ways to improve your state of mind now...
You will be able to locate him/her via your Mental Health Professionals Directory..and or if all else fails see your Dr they might well give you a referral to a therapist who practices CBT in your area..
I do hope this has helped to clarify what you are struggling with if it has then please 'accept' my response as it also helps us to keep this valauble service going for you and others in the future....please be encouraged..my thoughts are' with you in this..and take good care of 'self' ..