Hello. Welcome to JustAnswer. I am sorry to hear your situation.
It sounds like you may have social anxiety and signs of depression. Excess use of any drug may cause anxiety, depression and psychosis
over time. You may need to see your primary care physician for a physical check-up to detect and rule out any medical condition that may cause your mood symptoms.
You also may try some or all of the following to improve your mood - 1. Exercise moderately, but regularly, 2. Eat healthy but delicious meals, 3. Regularize your sleep cycle, 4. Don't drink to excess or abuse drugs, 5. Spend some time every day in play, 6. Develop recreational outlets that encourage creativity, 7. Distance yourself from destructive situations or people, 8. Practice mindfulness meditation
, or walk, or an intimate talk, every day, 9. Allow yourself to feel pride in your accomplishments, 10, Listen to compliments and expression of affection, 11. Build and use a support system, 12. Pay more attention to small pleasures and sensations, 13. Challenge yourself, 14. Avoid unstructured time, 15. Practice good personal hygiene, 16. Avoid depressed self-absorption, 17. Cultivate your sense of humor. Also, yoga, meditation, Acupuncture, Guided imagery, and massage therapy may help.
Additionally, you may benefit from seeing a therapist who specializes in Cognitive-Behavior therapy (CBT) to work on social anxiety.
The book "MIND OVER MOOD by Dr. Greenberger and Padesky" may be helpful to understand the connection between your thoughts, feelings (Anxiety) and behavior (action). I hope you get well. Please let me know if you have more questions or I have overlooked any. Warm regards,