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Dr. Olsen
Dr. Olsen, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2336
Experience:  PsyD Psychologist
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I have a 6 year old who can be a total charm 90% of the time.

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I have a 6 year old who can be a total charm 90% of the time. On the other hand, he can fly off the handle when things dont go this way. Kicking, hitting, yelling. How to handle?
Hello & Welcome to JustAnswer. I am sorry to hear your son's situation. Let me ask you a few questions before I offer an answer. How did time-outs work for his temper tantrums? Do you think he tries to get negative attention from parents?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Time outs really dont work. Absolutely on the negative attention. But also hits brothers for slightest disagreements. Mimics back when I try to give him verbal reprimand. He is middle child of 3 boys, older brother is 8, younger brother is 4. We have a behavior modification therapy here in town that came recommended and it sounds very intense however I am not sure how this works.
Hi, Thanks for additional information. It sounds like he may be seeking negative attention from you parents. Your husband and you may need to set limits with his behavior. You also may communicate rules and expectations to him in a clear and direct manner. There are two disciplining techniques to improve his behavior: Rewarding his good behavior OR ignoring his bad behavior (not giving extra attention to his bad behavior; just correct his bad behavior without high emotion.) Rewards are considered to be more effective and positive than punishment. Ignoring his bad behavior may be an alternative technique if his bad behavior persists for 3 months after trying rewards to his good behavior. I advise you to reinforce targeted, good behaviors by rewarding him. Children tend to continue a behavior when it is rewarded and stop a behavior when it is ignored. Consistency in your reaction to a behavior is important because rewarding the same behavior at different times confuses him. It can take up to 2 months to work. Being patient and keeping a diary of behavior can be helpful to you. Choose 1 to 2 behaviors you would like to change (for example, no kicking, yelling and hitting all day). Choose a reward he would enjoy. Examples of good rewards are an extra bedtime story, delaying bedtime by half an hour. Additionally, you also may help him to relax daily and use some or all of the following - Music: Play for him his favorite music. Certain forms of music have the power to soothe his mind and body. Exercise: Ask him to relax his muscles. Ask him to focus on different muscles of the body and try relaxing them one at a time. Physical relaxation eventually leads to the relaxation of his mind. Laughter: Laughter, popularly denoted, as the best medicine is an excellent relaxation technique for children. Visualization: Encouraging him picturing the things he loves can make him feel relaxed. Allow him to imagine something nice and visualize that scenario in front of his closed eyes. Imaging of good things happening to him is definitely helpful. You may read children's books on happy family or home to him. Please let me know if I have overlooked any or you have more questions. Warm regards,
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