Hello and Welcome to JustAnswer. Your question is not closed until you are satisfied. I am happy to assist you with your question.
Your wife is very ill and needs intensive therapy to help her learn how to cope without using alcohol. Has someone suggested inpatient substance abuse and dual disorder treatment? Who labeled her incompetent? What does that mean in your state? Were the courts involved or just the hospital? I suggest you call an alcoholism treatment facility or psychiatric hospital in your area and ask them for a free consult to see where she needs to be.
Let me know if you have further questions.