I am very sorry to hear about the way you feel. It sound like you are in despair. You did well reaching out and contacting us.
Let me ask you a few questions first. How long have you been feeling like this? are you under a mental health team at the moment?who prescribed your medication? regarding the counseling sessions you had a yr ago, what happened and stopped and who did you have them with (what team)? Have you ever harmed yourself or attempted suicide?Do you have any support network around you, family, friends, partner?what are your living and working circumstances?
Some more information would allow me to have a better understanding of the situation.
ok. So you have a lot of protective factors such as close nit family and supportive friends, working and studying. However, you seem to be resistant to deal with your issues and this is likely why you did not persist with the counseling. It is also possible that you did not feel that you could connect with the counselor for some reason. However, therapy is the only way forward for you. Your mental health condition indicates that there are many significant issues that you are dealing with and you need to address them with the support of a professional who would help you explore and understand what is happening for you. You could ask your GP to refer you to your local mental health and see if they can offer you a set of therapy sessions. However, if they do not accept your referral, your GP can refer you for further counseling. You need to be honest with him/her about your feelings and thoughts of harming yourself so they can assess the seriousness of your condition. If you feel that you would like to be seen privately, then there is always the option of looking up for a therapist close to you that works privately.
I would definitely advise you to reconsider the option of therapy as this will help you understand your self better and make the necessary changes to improve your life. Feel free to ask for your parent's emotional and financial support for this issue if possible, as seeking therapy is a very valid goal when it is needed.
Hope this helps
All the best