what you are describing sounds like a serious siblings rivalry the least. It is clear from your description, that even if it appears that your step daughter is creating all the problems in the home, she is the person with the most needs at the moment. All these behaviors you described show uncertainty, feelings of inferiority and she cannot control her frustration. On the other hand, her dad seems to chose to ignore/deny this behavior as he probably feels that by denying this, it will pass. Can you please give me some more information for the family life. Your husband's ex wife, circumstances of divorce, age of both girls and how long she has been behaving like this?
just realised u want some background info, not really sure what u need but here goes, she shares a room with her 2 sisters as her 2 elder brothers needed there own space at the time there father and i seperated, she has regular contact with her ganmother(my husbands mother) My children see there dad every weekend. i am a carer and work 4 days a week and my partner works nights at a local supermarket and is also a retained fireman.he comes in i go out lol. we have a dog and 3 cats which the children have shared responsibility for, feeding etc. she is a very bright young lady so needs little help with homework but gets the same amount of time spent with her as the others only she seems to want alot more???? hope this helps a bit
I do understand what you are saying. However, as I stated at my previous posts, this does not seem as something that you can deal with on your own. Your husband needs to be actively involved in looking at the approach and dynamics of relationships. This is best done through a child psychologist who could assess the situation, give you a better understanding of it and suggest a different approach or intervention plan.
Therefore, what you can do is find a local child psychologist and visit him with your husband. i am sure that you will find great benefit in that and learn ways to manage certain behaviors better and cope within your role.
I hope everything works out for you