ok. Thank you very much for this information. You have shed a lot of light in this for me. First of all, I would like to say that you sound as a very sweet man who cares a lot about his family. Perhaps, what you say is true about not growing up with women and thus you find it harder to connect with them. However, women and men are not that different in reality. You could have easily had this type of communication issues with your son, if your son had a somewhat different personality.
Now, going back to your daughter's difficulties... From your description I took a few key things in mind that you said. First of all, your coaching role. As you would know, to be a good coach you would need amongst other things to be able to discipline children. You also expect certain successes on behalf of the children and no matter how sensitive you may be in showing this, this can still add to the pressure some children may feel. It is ok if you have the coach a couple of times a week for a sport but it can be a totally different experience if you have the coach as your dad. Then, it is very easy for the child to get caught up in to pleasing the dad, making him proud all the time every day since the role of coach and dad is the same. Therefore, it is possible that your daughter may feel deep down that she has displeased you in some ways and that she has not been able to make you feel proud for her sport achievements as her brother has. This can lead to avoiding the person altogether, in order to avoid the feeling of being a failure.
Also, you said that she often says to you " I know that" and "dad stop". This could indicate that she perceives what you say as if this comes from a teacher who always knows best. So again, she seems to be able to see you only as a coacher/teacher. She is possibly giving you the message to leave the role of the coacher/teacher and put on the role of her dad.
So to sum up, it appears as that you are much more comfortable communicating with her through your role as a coacher and what you would need is to understand how to communicate with her as her dad that does not know everything, does not tell her what to do and most importantly you do not expect her to prove her self to you. By all means I do not mean that you are the kind of bossy coacher, demanding and focusing on success alone but I am just trying to give you her possible perspective. it is possible that your difficulty is not about communicating with women but communicating outside your coaching role.
At this point I would like to hear your views on that and take it from there.
Looking forward to your response.