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I am sorry to hear about the problems you are experiencing with your son. He is most likely trying to have power over his world as he is beginning to be able to do more than ever before. You may want to pick your battles and offer him choices on the things that you are willing to let him decide. Then on the others, rather than giving in, yelling or hitting him, you can either try to distract him or matter of factly refuse to debate with him and go about your business treating this as a temper tantrum. As difficult as it may be, try not to show emotion at these times. Keep in mind that any behavior that gets attention is likely to continue happening. It has been called the law of the soggy potato chip in that if a child thinks that he has a choice between a soggy potato chip or no chip at all, he will choose the soggy chip. If your son feels that he has the choice between negative attention or no attention at all, he will choose the negative attention and so he will act out until he gets it. The only way for this pattern to stop is to begin to catch the good behaviors and reward them with attention, and to calmly and matter of factly give consequences for the negative behaviors with as little attention as possible. Hitting, yelling and bribing will only increase his bad behavior. A very good book on this subject is Win the Whining War & Other Skirmishes: A Family Peace Plan by Cynthia Whitham MSW. The more consistent you become with this positive parenting, the more secure your son will begin to feel and the more his behavior should improve. One of the things that you can do to avoid hitting is to take deep breaths, walk away if you need to and remember that you are modeling the behavior that you want to see in him. I hope this answer is helpful. Please let me know if I can clarify further.