Hi and thank you for contacting us.
From your description I understand that the little boy is in distress possibly due to a lack of a containing environment when it comes to his birth family. Children sometimes cannot cope with changes and looked after children especially sometimes become the victims of manipulation between birth parents. It would be impossible to know exactly what has changed and what has contributed to this behaviour. A professional, such as a Psychologist or mental health worker would need to assess all members that are in contact with him and be able to observe the interaction between them before making any assumptions.
Therefore, I would definitely recommend that you by passed the social worker and push CAMHS to perform and assessment. As I have worked in CAMHS I am aware that they can have long waiting lists. However, you can yourself contact the service manager of CAMHS by phone or letter. You should have received by now a letter from them with an appointment. If you haven't, then you definitely need to contact the service manager and complain. This will speed up things for you.
The social worker should really act as an intermediator. However, social workers sometimes fail in the roles and disregard risk signs as they can slowly become desensitised when it comes to risky behaviours. The behaviour you are describing sounds as a self inflicting behaviour and this needs to be addressed with immediate attention. Surely if this behaviour has started after certain changes, such as increase in contact, then this needs to put on hold until further assessment is done.
So feel free to contact the Service manager of your local CAMHS and discuss the necessity of giving priority to your case. You would also need to meet with a Psychologist in CAMHS to support you through your difficult role and to provide you with some more coping skills. You need all the support you can get so you do not feel drained. If you are dissatisfied with the social worker's decisions and general management of the case you can also complain to her service manager of the social services and request another social worker. If you put this on writing there are protocols and procedures to be followed so your request would be at least investigated.
Hope that helps
All the best