You have excellent ability to have insight into yourself. Notice the phrasing of what I said: the ability to have insight. To actually HAVE insight, you need to practice and use that ability you have. Practice looking into yourself and asking questions about yourself and why you do what you do. We live in a time where 45 seconds on a thought is considered giving a lot of attention to it! But you are more complex than that, so you are going to have to honor your being a complex, whole person. You need to look at things about yourself from many different perspectives to get an understanding.
I don't recommend therapy for you at this time about this. I recommend introspection, taking time to take a walk and think about things. Time to talk with friends and see where your thoughts and theirs go. Time to read books that will get you thinking.
Thoughts about why alcohol makes you feel safer in a social gathering with friends that it has become like a habit? Is it just a habit? Is there some insecurity that it answers? Is it the best answer? If it helps being social, why do you need help? You individually and all of you together? Is there some tension, fear, or insecurity it relieves? Is there a better way? Do you see all the questions I have come up with in just a brief moment? And there are more...
That you're anti-lazy is great! But there's a tenseness and nervousness about it. Why is there a nervousness? The need to have others be the same is a nervousness. Why do you need them to be like you? What does it mean to you when you say you need to control? Why? How? What would be better?
You see the questions are plentiful and they are part of the great beauty and mystery of life. Take them up with your mother and let her be one of the people you explore with. I'd like you to show her my answer to you. Because I want her to NOT give you any answers to your questions. I would like to recommend to her to begin letting you answer your life questions and explore them and she enjoy and feel wonderful that you are sharing your questions with her and she can be there in the background to guide when you ask for guidance as you become an adult.
So here are some books to look at as you continue in becoming an adult. They are not revolutionary, they are classics that each have something worthwhile for you to consider and to add
to your questions and answers in life.
I think very highly of the first book on my list, which is a real classic: The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
by Stephen Covey. It is assertiveness thinking, but it is adult thinking all the way and is the book that has helped more people than probably any other.
The second book is by Anthony Robbins. He's one of those speakers who fills up huge auditoriums. For a reason. He's a terrific speaker and writer. The particular book (if you like it, try his others): Awaken the Giant Within.
The last book is the father of all these type of books. How to Win Friends and Influence People
by Dale Carnegie. There are classes in these books now! It was written in the 1930s and still has something to say to you who lives on texting!
You can find all of these books easily on the internet with little investment. These books may or may not answer any specific question for you, but they will help direct you toward a way of looking at yourself in the world as an adult and as a man.
Okay. So you see I have not answered any of your questions about Colby or yourself. I have instead tried to open for you a path toward exploring your self and your self in the world so that YOU can learn the answers to your life questions as you move on your life path.
I wish you the very, very best!
Please remember to click the green accept button. Feel free to continue the discussion; my goal is to get you the best answers possible. Bonuses are always appreciated! If I can be of further help with any issue, just put "for Dr. Mark" in the front of your new question, and I'll be the one to answer it. All the best, XXXXX XXXXX