Hello, name is XXXXX XXXXX you for bringing your very real concerns to Just Answer, .before I continue on with my reply to you..please know just how much I feel for you with regards XXXXX XXXXX you are going through...and I am truly sorry to hear that you are experiencing the need to self harm.
Ultimately people who self-injure can learn to use new and healthier coping mechanisms to deal with some traumatic event in their lives...and though this process may take sometime to develop. It's also important to get help from a therapist/counsellor who specializes in self-injury. He or she can help you figure out what lies behind the urge to cut or injure yourself.(For here lays the answer).
These new coping mechanisms may include many activities and expression instead of hurting yourself ( those you are already mastering are very good, please keep them up).
A process that involves self-expression is often helpful...prayer is also a wonderful form of meditation and peace for your soul. Whatever works as an alternative method of coping with your feelings of anxiety or stress or "numbness" is often a good start toward recovery.
If you hurt yourself intentionally, please remember you are not alone. You might think that this behavior makes you "different from others," but please be assured that sadly it is more common than you think. Please talk to a counselor, therapist or your health care provider, chances are they've helped others with this same problem. Whatever pain or bad experiences underlie your urge to self-injure, a professional can help you to heal, both inside and out.
Concerning 'Anger Management'
The definition of depression is seen as "anger turned inward." However, I do believe that anger can be psychologically debilitating. People often see themselves as a being strongest and most assertive when they are angry. Actually, the opposite is true...and ultimately underlaying issues of a psychological nature need to be assessed and therapy sought to help work with your anger in a consistent and constructive way.
The first step in taking command of your anger is to change your thinking. Believe it or not, changing some of your beliefs and expectations can decrease your anger immensely. When you expect people, including yourself, to behave a certain way and a different behavior surfaces, this can cause a great amount of anger. Perfectionist thinking causes a tremendous amount of anger as well. So instead of expecting people to be flawless, give them a break, and give yourself one, too. If you don't anticipate a perfect situation you won't be angry when it doesn't pan out.
Another way to help dissolve anger is to stop thinking in terms of always and never. Nothing is black or white; all or nothing. Everything is somewhere in between. If you get into the habit of thinking this way, you are less likely to become angry over any given situation. Of course, some situations are bound to cause anger, especially if you feel that something is unjust. But it is up to you how angry you get over any situation. You can be incensed or your can become enraged, but it is within your control.
A final way to prevent anger is don't jump to conclusions. This can be one of the biggest causes of anger. Learn to talk out a situation instead of assuming you know the answer. No one is a mind reader. If you ask for clarification in a given situation you may be surprised to find out you misread the other person and their intentions. This can diffuse anger very quickly.
Please remember, how you feel about any given situation is up to you and you alone. It stems back to your beliefs, values and expectations...and past experiences. Alter those and you can alter your anger levels.
I do hope this has been of help to you if it has please 'accept' my response as it helps to keep this valuable service going for you and others in the future...and please know that my thoughts are' with you,,,
Karen S (ClinicalDipCounBmin)