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Karyn Jones
Karyn Jones, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1716
Experience:  Diploma of Counselling and Transactional Analysis Counselling, Lifeline counselling, Pastoral Care.
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I get angry and cut myself. I know why Im angry, but I dont

Customer Question

I get angry and cut myself. I know why I'm angry, but I don't know how to get through the anger without feeling like I wanna hurt myself. What should I do about my anger?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Karyn Jones replied 3 years ago.
Hello, name is XXXXX XXXXX you for bringing your very real concerns to Just Answer, .before I continue on with my reply to you..please know just how much I feel for you with regards XXXXX XXXXX you are going through...and I am truly sorry to hear that you are experiencing the need to self harm.

Ultimately people who self-injure can learn to use new and healthier coping mechanisms to deal with some traumatic event in their lives...and though this process may take sometime to develop. It's also important to get help from a therapist/counsellor who specializes in self-injury. He or she can help you figure out what lies behind the urge to cut or injure yourself.(For here lays the answer).

These new coping mechanisms may include many activities and expression instead of hurting yourself ( those you are already mastering are very good, please keep them up).

A process that involves self-expression is often helpful...prayer is also a wonderful form of meditation and peace for your soul. Whatever works as an alternative method of coping with your feelings of anxiety or stress or "numbness" is often a good start toward recovery.

If you hurt yourself intentionally, please remember you are not alone. You might think that this behavior makes you "different from others," but please be assured that sadly it is more common than you think. Please talk to a counselor, therapist or your health care provider, chances are they've helped others with this same problem. Whatever pain or bad experiences underlie your urge to self-injure, a professional can help you to heal, both inside and out.
Concerning 'Anger Management'
The definition of depression is seen as "anger turned inward." However, I do believe that anger can be psychologically debilitating. People often see themselves as a being strongest and most assertive when they are angry. Actually, the opposite is true...and ultimately underlaying issues of a psychological nature need to be assessed and therapy sought to help work with your anger in a consistent and constructive way.

The first step in taking command of your anger is to change your thinking. Believe it or not, changing some of your beliefs and expectations can decrease your anger immensely. When you expect people, including yourself, to behave a certain way and a different behavior surfaces, this can cause a great amount of anger. Perfectionist thinking causes a tremendous amount of anger as well. So instead of expecting people to be flawless, give them a break, and give yourself one, too. If you don't anticipate a perfect situation you won't be angry when it doesn't pan out.

Another way to help dissolve anger is to stop thinking in terms of always and never. Nothing is black or white; all or nothing. Everything is somewhere in between. If you get into the habit of thinking this way, you are less likely to become angry over any given situation. Of course, some situations are bound to cause anger, especially if you feel that something is unjust. But it is up to you how angry you get over any situation. You can be incensed or your can become enraged, but it is within your control.

A final way to prevent anger is don't jump to conclusions. This can be one of the biggest causes of anger. Learn to talk out a situation instead of assuming you know the answer. No one is a mind reader. If you ask for clarification in a given situation you may be surprised to find out you misread the other person and their intentions. This can diffuse anger very quickly.

Please remember, how you feel about any given situation is up to you and you alone. It stems back to your beliefs, values and expectations...and past experiences. Alter those and you can alter your anger levels.
I do hope this has been of help to you if it has please 'accept' my response as it helps to keep this valuable service going for you and others in the future...and please know that my thoughts are' with you,,,
Blessings
Karen S (ClinicalDipCounBmin)
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
You didn't offer me any suggestions on self-expression that I haven't tried. I'm not satisfied with my answer.
Expert:  Karyn Jones replied 3 years ago.
Hello, thank you for your reply...I appreciate your response and I'm sorry I didn't include the other forms of self expression in my original post to you..so I have posted them through to you today...and do hope that they will also be of great help to you..

These new coping mechanisms / further techniques, aimed at keeping busy to avoid self harm, may include, participating in sports, painting (art) yoga...( I don't know if this is what you meant by meditation). Movement and dance can also help you get back into your body, to ground yourself, and to release tension through more harmless physical activities.Regular 'strenuous' exercise routines have helped others, since this helps your body release the same pain-killing endorphins released during physical pain...so please think seriously about enrolling at your local gym. Flower arrangements ( fresh or dried flowers) which is also very relaxing, card making (using old cards to create your own designs) pottery with hands on shaping forming is very therapeutic and uplifting for your soul. Or being around friends when you have the urge to harm yourself...and the removal of objects used for self-harm from easy reach is also very helpful to resist the temptation..Another alternative and much safer method of self-harm that does not lead to permanent damage, is the snapping of a rubber band on your wrist, this may also help calm the urge to do this.
Blessings
Karen


Karyn Jones, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1716
Experience: Diploma of Counselling and Transactional Analysis Counselling, Lifeline counselling, Pastoral Care.
Karyn Jones and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Karyn Jones replied 3 years ago.
Hello I am so pleased I could be of help to you in the end...and its very self empowering to know its ok to express your feelings in a much more rewarding way, and please know that my thoughts 'will' be with you.
Many Blessings
Karen
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
You are so sweet and kind. I love you!!!!!!
Expert:  Karyn Jones replied 3 years ago.
I 'truly' care for you tooo.....please believe that.....you will come through this..my son is doing well ..
Karen

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Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Congratulations, to your son!! Congratulations, to you for sticking by him!!!!

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Expert:  Karyn Jones replied 3 years ago.

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Thank you very! much...I would 'always;' be there for him.....and I will stick by you to, and I'm here for you to ..if you want me anytime for support/to talk' to...just send a message to XXXXX XXXXX normal channel and they will post it through to me ...

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Customer: replied 3 years ago.
You're welcome! Thanks.
Expert:  Karyn Jones replied 3 years ago.
Take 'special' care now and know that someone 'really cares about you'

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