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Dr. Mark
Dr. Mark, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
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Experience:  Dr. Mark is a PhD in psychology in private practice
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I have a brother born 1957 whom Im concerned about and dont

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I have a brother born 1957 whom I’m concerned about and don’t know where to go to get him some assistance. Family background. Great grandmother (maternal) died in Mantino asylum in Illinois. (I don’t know what she has nor can I find any records. My grandfather (maternal) diagnosed sycophantic. Grandmother (maternal) I am uncertain. but had a complete home and yet slept in the living room. Never opened a window nor a curtain, and kept her stove in the basement. My mother 86, as well as my brothers. Has agoraphobia, and had it before there was a name for it. Mothers brother committed suside at the age of 29. I am diagnosed bi-polar. PTSD, and have various phobias. My father was a raging alcoholic and died from a heart attack at 62. Now as far as my brother. I believe he has been an agoraphobia since puberty. He is very brilliant and yet when he was young he spent his days after school in his bedroom. His died was limited since there were many food he was….well…he and I are a lot alike. But I don’t know the proper name for this action. We both have a problem with touch, and could swear even if someone’s hand was to close and we felt squeamish or almost as if it had a strange hurt to it. It wasn’t a germ thing. Well we have it with the clothes we wore, the food, the smells etc. (My grandson has ausburgers) anyway back to my brother. Besides his panic attacks, he was forced to drop out of high school but did get his GED. But I am certain there should have been a PHD behind his name if it was a possibility had he not had agoraphobia. He has been able to hold a job in the past and yet they had to be within his ability to drive distance. I found it interesting that he more of less lives in a room and yet to crowd him into a certain area would cause a panic attack. He lost his job because of the economy about a year ago? (not sure how long). So he would speak with me before the day he’d have to stand in line for unemployment. Commenting that he would stand there, and then get almost first and have to run to the bathroom. His panic or anxiety level when over the top he is forced fight or flight, so he’ll flight plus one of the major actions in the situation is a instant bowel movement. And yet if he does not have a toilet immediately, he will make a mess in his pants. There are day when he is better and then some are worse (which I understand) but even to drive to the doctors because of a emergency will cause him to have to pull over and do it in public. He feels he had a heart attack 2-3 years ago, but the ER room was to much so he left. He got limes disease about 20 years ago, and yet didn’t seek treatment until he become so sick that he felt he was about to die. From the limes he turned from a underweight person to morbidly obese since he now feels he has RA. This is a man who cuts his own hair. His wife does most of the driving to get whatever and he stays home. His teeth are rotting away. Telling me that he was glad that a certain tooth finally died and no longer hurts. This letter could go on and on forever. Because of his agoraphobia he is in poor health, has lost jobs, homes, positions, and is growing sicker since I am saying he is simply in a deep depression. I believe he also has ptsd since he had the same childhood that I had, if not worse. I have been on SSI 25+ years because I was at least able to get help after a attempt at suicide and was placed in a Mental hospital. After the attempt recovery. My brother has never seen a professional because he can not go into a hospital clinic, dentist office. He was able to have surgery on his two eyes because of cataracts and had gone blind. But He has never found out about his heart, nor anything else. He needs help, but I don’t know who/where etc to ask. Please remember he is not capable to go to see a professional, so someone would have to go and see him. And that is what I’m asking from you. To help me find a person in Wisconsin who is willing to go to his home (he is not dangerous) He lives in the town of LaValle with his wife. (I live in ND) His wife refuses to have him committed since she fears he would go insane completely (heck I do to and once you find me the place to contact, his name will not be revealed unless I am reassured in some official document) so can you help?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Mark replied 6 years ago.
Hi! I believe I can be of help with this issue.

First of all, this is an incredible tale of medical history. Not just your brother's but of family medical history! I'm sure you know that, but I had to comment because it was truly amazing to read such a concentrated amount of medical and mental health disorders.

I also hope that you recognize you are asking a somewhat impossible question to answer: on the one hand you are seeking help for your brother (which is very loving and he desperately needs) but on the other, he is unwilling to cooperate with this help and his wife is unwilling to take the steps to get him help. So, that means we can only try.

And I can think of three avenues to direct you to take in getting him help. I don't know how far you can go down these avenues before you hit a dead end. But they are the best we can do at this time.

Avenue #1: Get in touch with NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) in your area, Sauk County. You need to get them involved in helping you get services for him such as tele-doctors or home visits, etc. The contact person I have in my listing for your area is Alice Montemurro at(NNN) NNN-NNNN

Avenue #2: The Sauk County Aging and Disability Resource Center. Trish Vandre at(NNN) NNN-NNNN They are in Baraboo. Again, you want to know what they can do for your brother who is such an extreme case and should qualify for disability services. You are also seeking referral help.

Avenue #3. The Wisconsin Care Planning Council has tele-doctors and other services available. I don't know if in your area. It's mostly for geriatric services but they may be able to help with referrals if not actual service. I looked up their website for you:

So, this is thehelp I can give you and I hope that someone in one of these agencies takes an interest!

But really, as I said at the beginning you know you are asking for what is almost impossible--to help someone who refuses to help and whose wife is willing to go along with him on that. But, these are some possibilities for you...

I wish you and him and the family the very best!

Please remember to click the green accept button. Feel free to continue the discussion; my goal is to get you the best answers possible. Bonuses are always appreciated! If I can be of further help with any issue, just put "for Dr. Mark" in the front of your new question, and I'll be the one to answer it. All the best, XXXXX XXXXX

Expert:  Dr. Mark replied 6 years ago.
Hi! I haven't heard back from you in a while. I hope everything is okay with you. If you feel the question is still not fully answered, let me know what still remains to be discussed. If you feel you've gotten benefit from my answer, please click the green accept button. If I can be of further help with any issue, just put "for Dr. Mark" in the front of your new question, and I'll be the one to answer it. All the best, XXXXX XXXXX
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