Hello and thank you for contacting Just Answer:
I think that you are right that this is a form of bullying, controlling or abusive behavior. When you mentioned that his Mom died, I thought that perhaps he was grieving and suffering from depression and irritability because of it.
However, since you mention that this has going on since the beginning of the relationship, I believe it is more of an abusive situation. Ignoring you when out with friends is particularly horrible behavior. You may want to request that he get some anger management treatment or that you both have some couples counseling.
The current patterns in this relationship are clearly not healthy or good for you, so I would recommend some sort of intervention. IF he refuses to get some help or be involved in couples treatment, then I would recommend that you get some individual treatment to find out if this relationship has the potential of meeting your needs and being healthy for you.
I hope this is helpful and wish you luck.
Yes, I agree that once a year is still unacceptable. It is likely that his anger and "bad" behaviors are exacerbated since his Mom died. That does not mean that they are ok, and he could still get some help on the grieving so that he stops taking it out on you. It could be a combination of grieving and depression and would likely respond to an antidepressant if he is willing.