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Kristin, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 454
Experience:  Licensed Mental Health Counselor. 11+ years specialist in mental health. Expertise and insight!
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my daughter is 14 and having difficulties with some of here

Customer Question

my daughter is 14 and having difficulties with some of here school mates ans is feeling isolated
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kristin replied 5 years ago.

Can you provide some more information as to what is happening exactly with your daughter and her peers at school? And also how have your talks with your daughter been? Thank you...

Edited by Kristin on 11/1/2010 at 10:03 AM EST
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Hey Kristin,

She goes to a quite exculsive - small - all girls school - about 75 girls in three classes in her year - She is not with the Too Cool girls but the next tear down in the grade - There seems to be two girls that have very strong personalities and they seem to be able to sway the group - my daughter is isolated from the group when these girls flex their muscles somewhat - my daughter is very beautiful looking and is on a completly different level in that regard - she gets very upset with this isolation and the behavour and is very difficulit for my wife and to comunicate with her through this process. She wants to leave the school - this has been going on for several years at the school.
Expert:  Kristin replied 5 years ago.
Okay so it could be that they are envious of your daughter's beauty and therefore want to isolate her from the group. Girl bullying takes it's form in isolation from peers and social connection rather than physical bullying more common with boys. This can be very distressing and damaging for the girl being left out of course. If the two girls who are the leaders sense that they can upset your daughter, then this gives them a greater sense of power. So, it would be in her best interest to not get upset visibly in front of them. At the same time, if she has even one or two close friends that she can confide in, then she will be much better off than if she is completely alone when they isolate her. Encourage her to perhaps form friendships with those who are not part of that group and who will not shun her. Also, I would recommend counseling for her about this. If this has been going on for several years as you mentioned, and she does in fact want to change schools, then I would seriously consider that option as well. While you don't want to run away from issues, she should not have to put up with this for several years, and it can cause depression and anxiety, etc. This is why I encourage her to get some counseling. Please click ACCEPT if satisfied. Or ask for more info. Thank you!

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