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Karyn Jones
Karyn Jones, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1716
Experience:  Diploma of Counselling and Transactional Analysis Counselling, Lifeline counselling, Pastoral Care.
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My husband over the years has turned into this kind of person,

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My husband over the years has turned into this 'kind' of person, what I believe is a Narcissists. He acts and behaves just as described in the article that I just read. The attention he was getting at home is no longer enough, and has turned to other women now. He loves all of us very much, but it isn't enough attention for him. His job as a firefighter has only fed these issues he has with becoming cold and withdrawn. His mother was always a cold, and never really showed any affection to anyone in there family. After we got married we had three children, one right after the next. Attention was always turned to our children then. Somehow he feels as though he has been pushed away from me and our kids. Now that or kids are grown and have started off in their own lives he has started spending time phoneing women he has meet, and text yet another. And has also had one night fling with still another, of whom he has no longer contacted after that evening. Drinking is somewhat of a problem that has gotten worse too as this continues. He loves us, our family, but can't and doesnt seem to be able to get enough from us. My children and I have all asked him to seek out help, but he is still holding off with that. Is there any advice or help you can give us?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Karyn Jones replied 5 years ago.
Hello, my name is XXXXX XXXXX you for taking the time to contact Just Answer with regards XXXXX XXXXX concerns to that of your husband..Before, I continue on with my reply please know how much I truly feel for you and your family at this easy road to be going down and any time..
I suspect your husband might well be trying to deal with not only the trauma/effects of his job as that of a fire fighter, but also the underlaying emotional/psychological issues and events of his past childhood ..your wisdom in this must be commended by way of your suggesting his seeking help via therapy/counselling to determine what it is he is trying to cope with and the out workings of this would be well for him to see a professional Clinical psychiatrist, so an assessment can be made of any possible condition/dis-order he might well be struggling with ..before, it can be concluded for certain as to that of his being a Narcissist this can only be done via a careful & thorough evaluation..( if he is indeed wanting/seeking help in his recovery)..if he does whereby a treatment plan can be put in place for him..and if necessary medication in conjunction with that..
All I can advise at this present time, is for you to emphasize the importance of his actively accepting/ seeking help in his recovery and to continue on in your support/care at the same time...until he has a full assessment and a diagnosis is made. ..there is not a lot more that you can do right now..
Though, therapy can tackle the more pernicious aspects of narcissism.and it can help him to adapt to his condition, to accept it and to learn to conduct a more functional life with it.. and learning to live with this disorder (if indeed it is so determined)- as this in itself is a great achievement one he should be happy with in that even this modicum of success is, in principle, possible.

Please be encouraged there is hope at the end of the tunnel if your husband should accept it...and please know that my thoughts are with you at this most difficult and stressful time...for you all .
Please 'accept' my response if it has been helpful as it also helps to keep this valuable service going for you and others in the future..
Karen.....S ( Clinical DipCounBmin)
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