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Tamara, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1073
Experience:  20+ yrs Private Practice; Cert. Master Therapist; National Board Certified; APA Board Certified
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How can I overcome avoiding confrontation with my husband

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How can I overcome avoiding confrontation with my husband? I keep all my feelings to myself and the stress is taking its toll on me.
Hi. Welcome to JustAnswer. I'm pleased to try to help you today.

I'm sorry to hear that you are having these problems in your relationship. It sounds like you have learned, through the years, to not confront your husband on issues because he doesn't handle it very well. I agree with you that it isn't good for you to keep everything inside, as that causes a great deal of stress for you.

I would encourage you to talk with a therapist about this situation with your husband. If your husband would be willing to go with you, that would be nice. But it isn't necessary. A therapist can help you, by yourself, in several ways. First, it would give you a place to talk about your feelings so you didn't need to keep them all to yourself. That is beneficial, even if you aren't directly talking to the person you are upset with. Also, a therapist can help you dissect your interaction patterns with your husband and can give you help with both how to approach him when you have an issue, as well as with how to respond to him when he starts to get angry. Sometimes just working on your side of the communication issue can resolve a lot of problems. When you are dealing with someone who easily gets defensive (like your husband) the WAY that you approach things can make a big difference in how he responds, so that is worth understanding and working on. In general, a therapist can help you with the communication problems, and be a source of support to you through the process.

Best wishes, and please let me know if I can answer any further questions. Tamra
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